Speed skating rules. Or, rather, Shani Davis rules.

I don't know if anybody else was watching, (American Idol was still on, it should be noted), but the post-race Shani Davis-Chad Hedrick press conference was magical. They had been "good sports" in the immediate aftermath, when Hedrick got the bronze and Davis got the silver (some Italian [pronounced eye-talian] got the gold) in the 1500 meters. With Melissa Stark, each was appropriately deferent, talking about the other's skills and saying that "It wasn't about [opponent], it was about me skating my race" and all that other crap.

And then, apparently, the press conference itself was about the iciest thing in the world. (No pun intended, until the pun had been noticed. Then, the pun was intended.) Sitting five yards apart, neither addressed the other. They stared straight ahead. They referred to "Shani" and "Chad" like a mom refers to a disobedient toddler - like the other wasn't in the room.

And they still said the right things, about how they were happy to get a medal even though they really wanted the gold, deflecting the tough questions without ever acknowledging the other. And it lasted like that for a half-hour.

And then Shani dropped the bomb, just as he prepared to leave: "I'll just throw this out there. [Pregnant pause] It would have been nice, after the one-thousand, if he shook my hand. [Slightly shorter pause.] Like I shook his hand after he won the 500."

[According to Jim Caple, he also said, while off-mic, "Shakes my hand when I lose. Typical Chad."]

And then Davis walked off. And then Hedrick looked flabbergasted. Confused. Didn't know what hit him.

"Well...well...at least I thought it was important to make the Opening Ceremonies, to soak in the Olympic spirit in front of 50,000 people. At least... at least I wanted to skate for my country in the team pursuit."

Had Davis still had been in the room, he would have been free to say "Checkmate" at that point. Awesome.

You, my fair reader, don't care, but that doesn't mean it was absolutely awesome.

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Shani Davis was featured in a Chicago Tribune Magazine cover story at the start of the new year, so I had some knowledge of his story prior to the Games. An angry mom who sends profanity-laced emails to the U.S. Speedskating higher-ups (that never made NBC's coverage, I don't think). Complete separation from the rest of the U.S. Speedskating organization, owing to sponsorship conflicts and charges of racism. Now, the story gave the impression that Shani was largely a victim of his mother's own attitude, making Mrs. Davis "The Mrs. [Antonio] Davis of speedskating." Pure crazy, that is. But it also makes the point that he's slightly embraced the separation, training in Calgary rather than the U.S. But it also emphasized the great story, the black dude from the city in the all-white sport. I guess it's not been done before, but you've been inspired by an equivalent.

So, point is, his name is one I knew, about the only one outside of Rahlves and Bode and Sasha Cohen and the Flying Tomato, prior to the Games, so he was one of the guys I planned to follow. And, turns out, he's one of the top three or four American stories of the Olympiad.

My take on the duel: They're both selfish, and that's okay. It's a team sport.

But Hedrick is so damn disingenuous about it. Big smile, whiny statements. He tried to play the "I'm skating for the team" card when, quite obviously, he was mad at Davis for not helping Hedrick get his five Golds. As much as NBC (or, rather, ESPN) wants you to believe it, no athlete cares about medal counts; they're there for their own glory and accomplishment. (One clause = Three homonyms. Awesome, again.) In Hedrick's case, the goal was breaking the medal record and getting on a Wheaties box.

In Davis' case, it was apparently to win the 1,000 and the 1,500. I believe Davis when he said that he never was asked to skate the team pursuit prior to the Games, and it's verified that he's never competed in it. (It's also verified, by me, that it's an incredibly dumb event. Three guys on the same team skating in a line, trying to skate faster than three guys from another team skating in a line.) And he very clearly was committed to his individual goals: He skipped the Ceremonies to be ready for his first event, starting Saturday, and he skipped the Pursuit so as to be ready for the 1,000.

Pretty much, Davis has spent the time committed to skating; Hedrick has spent the time committed to getting post-Games endorsements. Instead, I'd say Hedrick becomes the third most-popular American male long-track speed skater, and a gigantic dork.

Wipe that smile off your face, stupid.

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Honestly, I didn't mean to commit 800 words to speed skating, but I did.

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I understand that Northwestern gets only one ESPN game per conference season, but why does it have to be in this situation. It's not the Thursday game I'm concerned about, although Wisconsin's obviously a tough opponent. Rather, it's the Saturday game that follows that just flat sucks. 8:00 p.m. game on Thursday night, leading into a Saturday afternoon game on the road at Penn State. That's the longest trip in the league, and NU's doing it on an extremely short rest.

Normally, you might get a Saturday night into a Wednesday night into a Saturday afternoon. Normally, a team is talking about 60 hours preparation time from mid-week to weekend game (9 p.m. Wednesday, to 11 a.m. Saturday). Here, it's 40 hours, with the longest trip in the league in there as well. Is it a big deal? I hope not. But it sure becomes one if Northwestern doesn't take down the Badgers on Thursday.

I understand that other teams have screwy schedules - in fact, Illinois is coming off a Sunday-home to Tuesday-road trip, losing the second one tonight (although they had 50 hours to prepare) - but NU should get all the favors, as the perennial conference doormat.

Personally, I think Northwestern's going to beat Wisconsin, and I don't think Wisconsin's that good. The Cats simply feel ready for a breakthrough, after strong performances in each of their last four conference losses. But, again, I'm an overly-optimistic dork.

This Wisconsin team is quite different than the one that beat NU early in the conference season, less depth with some academic losses. But they've got the big guy, Butch, who could mean trouble, and Tucker's always a handful.

By the way, each of the last four games - Wisconsin, at Penn State, Buckeyes, Gophs - are all winnable. Legitimately winnable, not "NU will go on the road and beat Illinois" winnable. Carmody's the greatest.

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Two weeks ago, I purchased the Mountain Goats' All Hail West Texas. The guy's absolutely amazing. I'm not sure what gets me about John Darnielle. It's probably the combination of the incredibly nasal voice and the fact that he so clearly pronounces his lyrics. But, man, it gets me.

After about eight days of obsessive All Hail West Texas-ing, I decided to buy something else. So, when the Arctic Monkeys record arrives here sometime next week, I've Amazon Super Saver Shipping-ed Protein Source of the Future...Now!. I chose it because it has 23 songs, which is a lot.

Mountain Goats Album Rankings:
1. The Sunset Tree
2. All Hail West Texas
3. We Shall All Be Healed
4. Tallahassee

Pavement Album Rankings, for fun:
1. Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
2. Slanted and Enchanted
3. Wowee Zowee
4. Brighten the Corners
5. Terror Twilight

I don't care to rank GbV-Pollard releases, because that's just not fair.
However, since 1998:
1. Speak Kindly of Your Volunteer Fire Department
2. Isolation Drills
3. Earthquake Glue
4. Half Smiles of the Decomposed
5. Choreographed Man of War
6. Universal Truths and Cycles
7. Motel of Fools
8. Fiction Man
9. Do the Collapse

Ranking reserved on From a Compound Eye

Boring!

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Welcome to new-reader Cookie. I think Cookie's my favorite Gopher, or, Gopher-resident, anyway.