Three posts, three specific urinal stories. Readership, on the upswing!

This is a follow-up on our not-washing-his-hands story from last week.

Today, I arrived at the urinal as a germophobe ("coughs and sneezes spread diseases!") coworker was finishing his work. Options are wait, or use the stall. I wait, just a moment, and initiate conversation while waiting. He goes to washing his hands. Our culprit from last week enters, and heads straight to the stall.

I and the germophobe continue our discussion - about the Tuesday night running club, workday-related small talk, whatever - and he exits. I finish at the urinal. Our culprit whisks out - "Have a nice night - see you tomorrow!" - as I head to the sink. I do some scrubbing and some screaming and I'm out.

I sit back to my desk, and I do some day-end end stuff, and the germophobe comes and sits next to my desk: "Did I just see what I think I saw?" "Huh?" "Did I just see what I think I saw?" "What?" "Did you see what I just saw?" "Wha?" "I think I just saw that. Tell me I didn't see that." "What did you see?" "Did he just leave the restroom without washing his hands?" "Yes. Second time I've seen it in less than a week!" "I'm putting up a sign."

I'd fully expect there to be a sign up there tomorrow. Awesome.

- - - - - - - -

So I mention this to my carpool-mate on the ride home. My carpool-mate is next to the men's restroom.

"Yeah," she says, "I saw that happen on Thursday!" "You saw that happen!?" "Yeah, I see it all the time." "What do you mean?" "It's pretty obvious when someone doesn't wash - you hear the flush, and they're out the door immediately." "Wow." "To be honest, last Thursday I thought it was you - and I thought you were pretty gross." "Yeah, it wasn't me."

So, the final count:
2 events, witnessed by 3 individuals. 1 confirmed non-washer, on two occasions. Ewww.

Also, my carpool-mate indicated that she thinks that there's at least one other coworker who regularly chooses not to wash. Germs are bad.

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Usually, the "following up on my New Year's Resolutions" post would come, say, year-end. But let's look at the goals set forth in my finest post of the last three months, the 2006 end-of-year post (skip the Christmas part - start just over halfway down the page, at "So, that's the fringe-mandatory...").

As set forth that night, things I'd like to accomplish:

Get a haircut: Accomplished January 6. Today, I was asked if I had gotten a haircut over the weekend. "Not since the first weekend of the year," was my truthful reply. But I got one, which is a good start.

Buy a bed: Accomplished January 6, as well. I've slept quite well on it several nights, and have even washed the sheets several times.

Avoid arrests: So far, so good. Though I pluralized "arrests," which is a bit disconcerting. I should have sought to avoid even one arrest. Still, I've been successful.

Maintain friendships, and form new ones: I think I'm okay on both counts so far, right? Right? Good, I hope.

Avoid traffic tickets: Again, so far, so good.

Move: Friends, it's happening, it's really happening. It's happening, quickly, too. Thursday night, my bed and whatever else I have will move from one side of our humble near-downtown lake to the other. Thursday, I will help my roommate pack his gigantic van after moving my bed to the other side of the lake. Thursday, I will also watch The Office, but most of my energy will be devoted to moving.

I'm quite happy with new place, though I've only seen it once, and only with a kind of surly lady showing it to me (she's a part-timer) and trying to hustle me out and seemingly discouraging me from renting ("if you can afford it," she continued to say, no doubt a commentary on my ever-present nappiness). But, gosh, right on the water. And right by a track around the lake. And pretty close to the downtown are and, especially come June or so, quite close to our office.

Also, my parents are awesome. They're loading up a van and coming up not this weekend, but the following weekend. They're even working on procuring a used washer and dryer, because they're awesome. And don't tell The Boy, but he'll definitely be enlisted to help pack sometime next week. Sucker.

My parents are also awesome because they sent Lou Malnati's pizza to me last week. Two of 'em. I'm finishing the second for lunch tomorrow, because I'm committed to days of grease and stinky belches. Yum.

- - - - - -

I thought I had something else to write, but I can't remember it anymore. But I think I've forgotten this same thing several times. I used to take notes when things popped up at work, but I've not done that for a while. Hmm.

- - - - - - -

I just did a bit of 'off the top of my head' editing to the rock music list at right. Of note: I added "Screaming Infidelities" because I really, really miss singing along to it while drinking with my friend Greg from The Quad.

The nice thing about Greg is that you can call him any time of night, yell "Your! Hair! It's! Every! Where!" and he'll join in.

Is there anything better than pumping your fist like an overly-emotional 14-year-old girl and singing along:
As for now, I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit around, and wonder how your making out.
And as for me, I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone, making out.

Shut up.

It's pure genius.

And then you get to ask about eyes looking fake and hair being everywhere and making out some more and, if you're lucky, some idiot comes by and buys you shots. And then you pump your fist and yell louder.

Probably, yelling along to "Screaming Infidelities" is, in some way, the thing I miss most about The Quad. Though I've called Greg and yelled on a few occasions in the last seven or eight months, so that's worth something.