i've got an old, creepy coworker. i mean, old. wrinkly. down to a pack a day from a three packs a day habit that he brought to us last year.

for 20-something years, he sold paper products. paper towels. tissue paper. toilet paper. latex gloves, or something.

and, great thing is, he's got toilet paper salesman jokes. or at least one.

we were discussing toilet paper today (hey - it's the offseason), and i commented that the toilet paper at the ballpark sucks.

"yeah. it's john wayne toilet paper." "huh?" "it's rough and tough and it won't take shit off of anybody."

woof.

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i've noticed an overabundance of 'woof's here. yesterday, i counted nine over my last eight posts. that's far too many, but i do like the word 'woof.'

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the bulls traded eddy curry tonight, and it's a sad situation. they're getting tim thomas, michael sweetney, and somebody named jermaine jackson. they're also getting a first-round pick and two second-round picks. antonio davis was also included in the deal, although word is that he'll be released and will re-sign with the bulls. (ever noticed the difference between the words 're-sign' and 'resign'? jack mckeon did the latter today.)

it's sad because the bulls had the player's best interest in minds - take the test, and we'll keep you here for life. further, if he'd taken the dna test and it came to reveal that he couldn't continue, the bulls would pay him $400,000 per year for the next 50 years. but he still refused to take the test.

at this point, the only recourse was to deal him and, considering the circumstances (nobody but isiah thomas would take him), i guess paxson did okay. but the fact is, no matter how well he did, he'd rather just have eddy.

eddy was the rock. i was angry about losing davis, who was the boulder. the 'little things' - the maturity, the professionalism, the willingness to teach - brought by antonio added far more than the four-and-four numbers.

the deal is disconcerting, though.

i'd imagine that hinrich and gordon will start this year, along with deng, chandler and davis/thomas/songaila/sweetney/harrington. point is, it's an uninspiring frontcourt without eddy, and jordan's bulls are the only ever nba championship team without a dominant, scoring big man. eddy was that. he's also the only good young one there is.

paxson's a true pro. one of the best, i think. his simple philosophy - players from winning college programs bring that winning attitude to the pros - certainly has worked wonders. deng? gangly, no experience. nope, future star. duhon? will be lucky to make the roster. nope, natural, intelligent team leader. gordon? too small to be a shooting guard. nope, the greatest scoring guard to enter the league since ... well, wade. but maybe bryant before then.

i'm still optimistic for the team, but i think we'll see a lot of harrington-and-four-shooters lineups during the season. which could be fun.

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after a one-week suckfest, arrested development was fantastic today. i don't know what happened, but you never remember, of course.

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update on last night's nfl game: hochuli did give a long-winded replay explanation, which was outstanding. it talked about re-establishing position in bounds to recover a fumble. perfect. thanks to jimmy kimmel for showing it.

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guaranteed-to-be-wrong playoff picks:
angels over yankees, 3 games to 1. leaving aaron small out of the rotation??
white sox over bosox, 3 games to 2. i'm casting my lot with contreras.
cardinals over padres, 3 games to 1. peavy then nothing.
atlanta over houston, 3 games to 1. picking more with my heart here. i've picked hudson over pettitte then smoltz over clemens. i don't like clemens. after oswalt wins game three, i've the bravos in number four. oh, i hope so.

beyond there:
white sox over angels
cardinals over atlanta
white sox over cardinals

that'd be fun, wouldn't it? i'd like ozzie to outmanage larussa on a national stage.

note: i haven't analyzed anything beyond the starting pitching matchups. not even al reyes' injury, or brandon mccarthy's inexplicable spot not on the roster.