A few weeks ago, I received a letter addressed to my dad. Here. In the ring finger. "Welcome to The Ring Finger. We'd like you to consider our dental practice."

This was odd, being that
a) My dad doesn't live here, and
b) He doesn't get any bills sent here.

I figured that the reason that my dad somehow got mail here, addressed to him as a new member of the community, was because the yellow car is titled in both my name and in his name.

But, still, that didn't quite explain why he'd be getting mail here - after all, the yellow car still isn't registered here.

Anyway, I figured that was a silly situation, and certainly not RedHotHalos-worthy. I've kept the magnet that the dentist sent me.

Well, today, I received something fascinating and fantastic in the mail, and I'm pretty sure it's related to the same clerical error that caused my dad to get mail here, despite the fact that he doesn't and never has lived here:

Dear [Me]:
Our records show that you haven't yet registered for the benefits of AARP membership, even though you are fully eligible.

If you have already sent in your registration, please excuse this notice.

If not, I urge you to register now so you may start enjoying AARP benefits and services with no further delay.

You need only return the form above. Please remove and keep the card below as your record of enrollment. You will receive a new card and Membership Kit, with full details on your benefits.

As a member, you'll have the resources and information you need to get the most out of live over 50. You'll have access to exclusive discounts. Dependable insurance programs and investment resources. Important health-related information. And much more. The 22 benefits shown on the back are only a partial list!

I look forward to your joining us. I think you'll agree with our other members: AARP is one of America's very best values.

Sincerely,
William D. Noevlli
Executive Director

Dude, I've got my own AARP card.

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My parents came up this weekend, and I think it was worth it. We hit several of the important places and met the important people. Dinner with a pair of coworkers Sunday night was a hit ("Your parents are exactly like you!" a friend said, complimentarily, I think), and Saturday night at the redneck bar was everything I could have hoped for, in its own special redneck bar way.

Coolest part, though I wasn't there:
Dad: "Hey, we're going to the Hard Luck Cafe for breakfast. Can you help direct me there."
Hotel Desk Employee: "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Least cool part, and I was there:
Dad [loosely]: "You know son, pretty soon you should start making money."

At some point in the (three-minute or less) conversation, I said, "I don't know...Float until I'm 60, I guess."

But then my mom woke up and said something silly or nonsensical, and then it was time to head home so that we could get ready to go to dinner.

On the way back from the grocery store on Sunday night, I drove by the window repair shop that always displays words of wisdom on its marquee. ("Speak Less, Say More" is the one that most applied to the R/DS.)

Anyway, Sunday night...
"Take Pleasure in Pathless Woods"

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Sunday night's closing time visit to the grocery store yielded a new flavor of soda.

Review:
Diet Pepsi Jazz: French Vanilla and Black Cherry - I like the Vanilla Pepsi, and I like this version better. Not much cherry, but a little bit. Pretty good, but not as good as Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Peppper. However, the Pepsi Jazz: Strawberries and Cream seems like it'd be not that good.

I'm hoping Flax comes up with a more in-depth one soon.

Slightly-related: Everyone in the office chugs energy drinks. Red Bull. No Fear, the Drink. Things like that. I've never consumed one by itself.

Anyway...
They consume a lot of this, which is just creepy. I really, really, really hope my mom clicks this link. There's also some sort of theme music.

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So, I bought the CD by Rhymefest, Blue Collar, last week. I've pretty much had "Brand New" and "Chicago-Rillas" and "Bullet and a Target" and "More" stuck in my head since.

I'm going to buy the Lupe Fiasco CD when it comes out, and I'll probably like it a lot.

Does this mean I like rap? Or does it just mean that I like totally dorky rap?

[I also like The Streets a lot, but that's not really rap. But I think A Grand Don't Come for Free is among my ten favorite records ever.]

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I've done a lot of falling asleep with the lights on lately. Probably about every other night for the last few weeks, on average. Long homestand - seven games in six days - starts Wednesday, and I'm not sure I'll make it through. Though I probably will.

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The R/DS set me off three separate times in about five minutes of exposure on Saturday.

Once, it was him, after I asked him if I could de-intensify the air conditioning in the office [I was actually shivering], offering that, "I find it's effective to dress in layers." To which I responded, "Not when it's 85 degrees."

Another time, he complained about an upcoming road trip, and I said "Don't you find that it's more relaxing on the road? Work on your own schedule... Worry about nothing but the game..." And he gave me a condescending look and said, "Are you kidding?" and explained all the extra work he has. (He doesn't.) Pretty much, it was the first time this summer I've specifically wanted to point out things like "I did what you're doing for four years, and I know exactly what you do. Don't lie to me."

Or something like that.

I forget what the third was, but it set me off.

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WIDiRViFoW (broadcasting-related)

This Week's Reason
Nemo and I discussed it previously. It was a college radio bad habit. He always makes on-air reference to his hometown, like listeners could possibly care. (He's from suburban Philadelphia.)

Examples
Every game: "As the late, great Richie Ashburn used to say on Phillies broadcasts if the Fightin' Phils were tied or trailing entering the bottom of the sixth inning: 'Home sixth, great time for a rally.'"

Saturday night, with the winning run at third and two outs in the bottom of the tenth: "As Lenny Dykstra once said, 'If you don't want to be at the plate when the game's on, then you shouldn't be playing.'"

Some other time, when I bio'd an opposition relief pitcher: On-air, to me: "You mention Shelocta, Pennsylvania. Amazing! A Pennsylvania town I haven't heard of."

Why It's Annoying: Because listeners don't care.