epiphany: at the age of 25, i can't handle caffeine. or, perhaps, i can't handle extreme amounts of caffeine.

saturday, october 29
gurs offers espresso. i accept. i down my cup. he decides he doesn't want it. i finish his. an hour later, we're at the ryan field east lot. upon being reintroduced to an acquaintance, i shake a lot. a lot. conversationally shaking, but shaking nonetheless. gurs and s point and laugh. i get defensive, but secretly know that they might be right.

monday, november 7
at about 1045, the boy calls. (turns out, his key says "do not duplicate," so meijer wouldn't duplicate. he needed advice. postscript - but roy did today.) i'm getting ready to hang up on him, and then i spew a rash of insults. intelligent ones like piss-head, piss-face, and piss-brains. he says, "are you drunk at work?" i attribute it to the four - four - cups of coffee i had had between 9:15 and 10:30.

i've got a problem here. perhaps i expect instantaneous results from my cup of coffee. or two. i don't get them, so i start shotgunning. i should stop that, so as to avoid the twitchiness and high-amplitude insults.

it should be noted that i was not allowed to drink caffeine between the ages of, let's say, nine, and 21. i mostly abided by the rud family policy untily about 15. seriously. but then i rebelled, and look what happened to me.

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my faith in humanity was greatly shaken today. i'd like to thank my fabulous friends - dad, gurs and nemo - for listening to me vent. hopefully i'm still employed at the end of the week. (note: i probably will be. if i weren't, i'd probably not write about it for a while. so assume i'm still employed.)

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lots of dishes to do. but there are always lots of dishes to do. i think i'm committing to doing another sunday of auto racing on radio. it's truly interesting from a production standpoint. but it's boring work. but at least it's boring work that pays minimum wage. i may also leave work early friday to go work at the radio station, which would be nice.

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early morning wakeup. at work at 645 wednesday. and friday. but, hey, it's an honest day's pay for an honest day's work. or something like that.

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just got a random email from my former record store boss. "former," meaning october 1998 to march 2000. last significant contact was in 2001. last actual contact was, say, february 2003. neat.

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bought the first fiery furnaces record today. also neat.