So, because it's long-awaited, I've decided that it's worth it to write my Northwestern football preview. My track record is short and spotty: I picked seven wins for last year's 4-8 club, and I picked a 4-7 season for the 2005 team's 7-6 Sun Bowl season, which is more impressive than it sounds. In 2004, I was close, picking a 7-5 season for a team that went 6-6, losing at Hawaii to close the year and missing a bowl.

So, bear in mind, as you read, that I'll try to be plus or minus three on win total.

(Also, as a warning, there are only three additional topics covered in this post, if you're not interested in NU football. One is a tennis-related conversation with my supervisor, from Wednesday, and the others are baseball-related conversations had with The Boy this evening. If you don't like sports, or are thirsty for pithy music opinion, you're S.O.L. If you come here for reasons other than music or sports, you're probably in the wrong place.)

First, a brief recap of last year:

It's the toughest year that Pat Fitzgerald has gone through, ever. He was in an untenable position, thrust into a role that somebody five years older than me can't possibly handle, especially when given a month to prepare, five days after the death of his mentor. Impossible situation.

He looked 20 years old, and confused, and uncomfortable, for most of the season. He's still working on his "coach" persona; right now, it's just weird. He tries hard for wide-eyed eye contact, and he spouts about "our football family" and "playing hard" and "great young men," but he sounds like he's reading from a script. Randy Walker spouted off cliches because he believed them and he lived them.* Pat Fitzgerald says them because he thinks he's supposed to say them. By all accounts, he's a passionate and genuine recruiter, and I wish he'd bring that enthusiasm and sincerity to occasions where he's presented as the face of Northwestern football. Because he'll be the face of Northwestern football for 30 more years, you know.

*("Keep the main thing, the main thing," which makes no sense, was maybe my favorite. The inevitable "That wasn't us out there" was my least favorite. The lecture about Diet Pepsi was always uncomfortable, in an awesome way - corporate shilling for the sponsor before the press conference, if you don't mind? That man was fantastic, and genuine, and really one of the great people I've had the chance to be around. I cried when he died, for the record.)

But anyway, Fitz was scared and confused, and his offensive coordinator was dealing with, at the start of the year, a pair of quarterbacks with no experience. They were nothing resembling a Big Ten team during the first four weeks of the season, and were lucky for their two non-conference wins.

Obviously, the emergence of CJ Bacher was important, maybe the season's most important factor, even though it came in game five of a six-game losing streak, and even though his "emergence" came in the same game that the Cats set an NCAA record for blown leads. They blew a four-touchdown lead, and I wasn't that upset after the game.

Anyway, NU became a (kind of) real Big Ten team that day and, while their 17-3 Michigan loss in Ann Arbor wasn't as close as it looked and their 54-10 Ohio State loss was as bad as it looked, they also dismantled Iowa, effectively ending their season, and capped the season with a nice win over Illinois.

So, basically, this isn't coherent. But there's reason for optimism, I think.

Let's break down the roster, by unit. I did this last year, and I think it's fun. I am not required by any rule to base my thoughts or rankings on facts. Generally, I base it on whether I like the players, whom I've never met and about whom I know, generally, nothing.


1. Running Back
Tyrell Sutton is the best. Had there been a passing game present for the first six games of the season, this would be far more apparent. I think he lost his proclivity for fumbling last year, which is highly important. And he's clearly tough. He's the team's (almost) undisputed best player. I don't care that Brandon Roberson has proven to suck, and Omar Conteh has proven that he's not worthy of time on the field. Tyrell's the best. His numbers would have been better if we weren't convinced that Mike Kafka should be the near-primary ball carrier in the first two games of the season. Hmm. I think Scott Concannon will play. He's tiny, and quick, and the coaches seem to like him a lot. He's a true freshman from Missouri, and he'll wear number 20.

2. Defensive Line
This has never been said about NU. Defensive line as a strength. But I think Corey Wootton might have a claim as NU's best player. He's huge, at 6-7, but quick off the end and seems to have a big play capability. Four other ends figure to see time, and I think David Ngene's the best of them. But Koehn and Mims are solid backups, and Corbin Bryant, while not listed on the two-deep, certainly opened eyes as a true freshman before getting hurt and receiving a medical redshirt. (Not unlike Wootton in 2005, when he played three games before getting hurt.) Gill and Hahn are stout up the middle, though the tackle position is thin after that duo.

3. Defensive Backfield
They say that NU can't recruit defensive ends, and NU can't recruit corners. These are the toughest positions to play, they say, so the top ones head elsewhere. Harold Blackmon's the best corner I've seen since I've started following NU, or maybe Jeff Backes. Neither were particularly good and, well, Backes, well... But Sherrick "Batman" McManis (it makes no sense, but I'll stick with Batman) is solid, and could be great. Deante Battle is good on the other end. I like those two, I just do. Meanwhile, the safeties are legitimately good, for real. Brendon Smith was great as a freshman and hurt as a sophomore, but he's certainly a player. He's quicker than you'd think. Brad Phillips played quite a bit as a true freshman, and has the makings of a hitter. Reggie McPherson's been around for quite a while - I think he broke up the final pass play when NU beat Indiana in Double (Triple?)-OT in...2003? That gives him four years on the field. And, actually, it was 2004.

4. Quarterback
I think CJ Bacher's an all-conference candidate, because he's a good passer. He's got a running game. He's got adequate receivers. And he looks like he belongs out there. The team follows him, it seems. It seems like he has a command, a presence, about him. He's also followed in the NU tradition started by Zak Kustok of "quarterbacks who kind of look like a Muppet." He's also, well, productive. He threw for nearly 1,200 yards in his five starts. He completed 60 percent of his passes. The blemish is the interception number - eight of them in five games. This is chalked up to him being young and stupid. I think he's older and less-dumb now. Remember how awful Baz was a sophomore? (He was so awful that they didn't throw a single pass in the second half against Illinois, in the final game of his second season as a starter.) Bacher was far better, and I think he'll be far, far better this year.

...
I like those four units a lot. The rest are C+ or worse, in a world where C is average. (At NU, I learned, B+ is average. I got a C- once for correctly answering less than 50 percent of the questions in an economic history. I double-majored in economics. I'm perhaps applying to business school. I don't think the C- will serve me well, but it will serve me better than an F would have.)
...

5. Offensive Line
Maybe a C+ unit, actually. Center Trevor Rees is an all-conference contender. Left Tackle Dylan Thiry is, in my opinion, the perfect size for a tackle. He's 6-8, 315. He's a senior, and I think he'll be drafted. Adam Crum is Alaskan, and the right guard. Mostly, he's Alaskan. So, these three guys are back. Joel Belding played center, as I recall, when Rees was gone in 2005. I think he blew the Michigan game with a pair of holding calls, and I hold grudges. The other tackle is the biggest question mark, with sophomore Kurt Mattes getting the nod. I have no opinion on him. I believe someone named Ramon Diaz was slated to get playing time on the line, but is hurt. Also, true freshman Al Netter is on the two-deep as Thiry's backup. Worth knowing.

6. Wide Receiver
It seems like there's Eric Peterman, who is genuinely good; Ross Lane, who might be great but is right now just good; Kim Thompson, who was supposed to be great; and five or six other faceless and undistinguished guys in this group. Or, if you prefer, eight or nine faceless guys in this group. Ross Lane made a great catch in the Sun Bowl, and had the game-winner as a freshman against Iowa. I'm hopeful those won't be his two career highlights. He's rangy and athletic, and I'm hoping he'll put up better than 400 yards this year. (Like, twice that, if he's NU's top receiver.) I really like Peterman though, as it turns out, Lane's numbers are better. I guess I'm an ass. I hope he throws less than three passes this year, and I hope that all of the passes he throws go for touchdowns. Among the faceless, I like Rasheed Ward best, but this is due to numerology. (Ward's #8, Lane #9, and Peterman #10. For the record, RB Roberson is #11, and injured WR Brewer is #12. WR Yarbrough is #7. This is all awesome. #5 is RS Freshman WR Sidney Stewart, and #6 is true freshman Charles Brown. Brown will redshirt, though he's well-regarded.) I downplay the injury of Brewer, who is out for the year, but he was apparently their best player during the spring. He caught one ball last year. I'd rather he be here, but I'm hopeful that the other two white guys can get the job done.

7. Kicking Game / Return Game
Batman's awesome, both on coverage and as a returner. Ward's listed as the punt returner, though he's never done it in game action. Stefan Demos was a top ten kicking recruit, though he'll punt. Amado Villareal showed well for himself after Joel Howells' Sun Bowl meltdown. I think he'll be just fine, and I'm hopeful we'll be comfortable kicking inside of 35 yards. Beyond 35 yards, what the hell, just go for it.

8. Linebackers
It's funny, because, in a lot of ways, Adam Kadela is the face of the defense. He's a three-year starter. He was the guy at media day. He's also slow. OLB Mike Dinard is slow, too. OLB Eddie Simpson is the best LB, but he's not listed as a starter and might be suspended, or something.
We'll miss Nick Roach a lot and, to a lesser extent, Meatball Eaton. I'm excited to see redshirt freshman Quentin Davie on the field, as I think he'll overtake starter Prince Kwateng, who has an awesome name but has never earned his way on the field in his first three years in the program.

Let's look at the schedule:
Seven home games (first time ever, I think)
Penn State and Wisconsin are off the schedule; Indiana and Minnesota are back
Really, they really should win all four non-conference games

9/1, v. Northeastern
Northeastern beat New Hampshire, who slew Northwestern, who... yeah, I know. Still, they're I-AA.
Win: NU 38, NU 14

9/8, v. Nevada
Nevada apparently lost everyone from last year, when they were a bowl team (though one that underperformed and was a disappointment). They play the "Pistol" offense, where their quarterback lines up about four yards behind center, with a tailback behind him. This one's at home, too.
Win: NU 27, UNR 17

9/15, v. Duke - Under the Lights at an empty Ryan Field!
I know nothing about Duke. My parents' neighbor is still on their roster, perhaps even playing. About five years ago, they had a quarterback named D. Bryant. That's not a first initial, it's a name. As in "Dee-dot Bryant." Though you'd just call him "Dee Bryant." They're awful.
Win: NU 41, Duke 7

9/22, at Ohio State
Let's be real. At the 'Shoe. OSU loses the Heisman winner, a first-round wide receiver, and a fantastic running back. They're still awesome. It's probably infeasible.
Loss: OSU 41, NU 17, and I hope it's not

9/29, v. Michigan
This one's more winnable, but Manningham and Henne and Hart and ... I don't know who else ... are still there. Expectations are high, again. I can't see it happening.
Loss: Michigan 34, NU 20

10/6, at Michigan State
This might be the biggest game on the schedule. Homecoming is the next week. Michigan State's down, but has a new and enthusiastic head coach who, while coming from Cincinnati, is also a longtime Big Ten guy, apparently. NU has won at MSU before. Will they be down after two blowout losses? Or sky high at the chance to start a - gasp - winning streak? I'll be ostimistic, and go for the latter.
Win: NU 27, MSU 21

10/13, v. Minnesota
My only Cats game of the year, until the Motor City Bowl. (Foreshadowing.) Glen Mason did a lot of good things (blowing his bowl game - something like a three-TD lead to Texas Tech, sealed his fate), but everyone there loves new head coach Tim Brewster. But it's a year or two early for the Gophs.
Win: NU 30, Gophs 20

10/19, at Eastern Michigan (at Ford Field)
It'll be a Friday night. The Tiges might be playing next door. The Cubs might be playing in Chicago. If a college football game takes place in an NFL stadium on a Friday night (because EMU forgot to confirm game day with the facility before, you know, scheduling it, and therefore got bumped by the high schoolers), and only 14,000 people are there to see it, does it really happen? Yes, because it's on ESPNU. And because it'll be NU's biggest road margin of victory in decades. (I have no idea what the record might be.)
Win: NU 54, EMU 9

10/27, at Purdue
Last year's game was so, so, so miserable. I was driving to Detroit, and couldn't really get WGN. And the Cats were still playing Kafka. The results were predictable. This one's on the road, and Curtis Painter can throw a little, and that Dorien Bryant character (pronounced "Dorien Bryant," not "Dee dot Bryant") is, perhaps, the second-best receiver in the conference. I love you Batman, but, well... sigh.
Loss: PU 31, NU 21

11/3, v. Iowa
Albert Young ate us alive in 2005, and then they stopped giving him the ball. NU came back to win, in fantastic (two TDs in the last four minutes) fashion. Last year, NU dismantled them. This year, Young's still there, and a new, competent QB should have been broken in. I can't comment on their defense, because I'm never able to comment on any defense.
Win: NU 24, Hawks 17

11/10, v. Indiana
Their enthusiastic, fantastic, wonderful coach is, sadly, dead. Their replacement is old, but stunned. They're Indiana. NU's better. (I'm about to predict NU to win six of seven at home. Infeasible? I guess not. Nothing here even feels like that much of a stretch, though maybe Iowa.)
Win: NU 34, IU 31

11/17, v. Illinois
Zook's a crook. And his quarterback is, actually, not good. But he's fun to watch run. Still, I feel a letdown here, owing to a) NU's bowl eligibility, and b) Illinois' 5-6 record at this point.
Loss: U of I 27, NU 24

Breakdown, then:
Home: 6-1
Road: 2-3
Overall: 8-4

Is that really what I've picked? I promised to be realistic. I haven't been.

Non-conference: 4-0
Conference: 4-4

vs. Top 25 teams
0-2

vs. Bowl teams (Michigan, Ohio State, Illinois, Iowa, Purdue)
1-4

This is almost as weak of a schedule as a Big Ten team can play (Michigan or Ohio State or Penn State or Wisconsin get weaker ones because, well, they get the chance to play, say, Northwestern). I think I'm being optimistic about the Iowa win - that'd be more likely mid- or early-season. But, hey, I'll stick by it. Nobody cares, anyway.

So, 8-4. Motor City? Insight? I don't know. I thought the Sun Bowl was a great game, and I wish the conference remained there.

Also, I'm wearing my T-Sutton jersey to work tomorrow. I've never been more excited about wearing something to work.

- - - - - - -

Tennis: I had a brief conversation with my supervisor Wednesday about tennis, and the US Open, and how awesome tennis under the lights is. And he told me about watching Roddick on Tuesday night, and I talked about how, well I liked him at the outset, and while I liked him when he won Wimbledon, I thought he was whiny now. Far too immature for someone who has been on the world stage for six years. My supervisor agreed. Then we got to talking about Connors and McEnroe, who would blow gaskets purely for intimidation's sake.

Then I got to talking about how great that troika - McEnroe, Connors & Borg - must have been, and he confirmed. Then I asked if he had watched Federer-Nadal, ever. He said, not really.

I talked about how much I love watching Federer. His gracefulness. His completeness. His ponytail, when it's there. The fact that he beat Sampras. His post-major crying fit, inevitable, and genuine.

"It's a fake," my coworker said. "You think?" "No doubt. That man has no emotion. He probably looks to his player's box after he wins, to his manager-slash-coach-slash-agent-slash-girlfriend-slash-shrink, and she holds up a sign: Cry Now. And so he does."

While I respectfully disagree, I loved the sentiment.

- - - - - -

The Cubs are in first place. I talked to The Boy about this tonight.

I talked about Lou Piniella's managerial greatness. His willingness to ride unproven young talent, and to bench them when they start failing. His willingness to give guys who have proven themselves a chance, most notably in the case of Murton and Pie, exiled to Triple-A for times, then suddenly back in the lineup. (The exception is Geo-Soto, who has nothing left to prove at Triple-A, but is the odd man out and will only ever stick as a backup first baseman/catcher who, if we're lucky, can be serviceable in left field.) I love the way he's cycled young guys through the bullpen spots, the way he's regained confidence in Scott Eyre, and the way he immediately stuck Marmol into clutch situations. I think he's great.

That's point one about the Cubs and baseball.

Point two emanates from point one. It's Ryan Theriot. He's awesome, and was never supposed to be a big league shortstop. He was a second baseman in the minors, even though he was a shortstop in college, and only played short when Fontenot - red-hot at the time - proved quickly that he couldn't.

"I don't think he was a prospect at all," The Boy said. "He was a third-rounder," I interrupted. "Oh," he said. "But they tried to make him a switch-hitting second baseman."

"Didn't Dad try to get you to switch-hit at some point?" I asked.

"Yeah," The Boy replied. "But I was never really into the hard work thing."

I thought that was really funny.

(He then explained that he like baseball because, you know, you just get to play games. You don't have to really practice. Then I quoted Allen Iverson: "I mean, we're talkin' about practice here," which I think is about the funniest player's press conference ever. Then we hung up.)

- - - - -

Thanks for reading. Go Cats.

Let's talk, briefly, about the greatest prank I've ever perpetrated. I don't perpetrate a lot of pranks, and I de-perped this one after about 16 hours, but it was still a fantastic prank. Or, joke. Or, something. Not a prank, I guess.

So, it takes place last week at work.

A few months ago, a friend of mine was down in the CHI for the Pitchfork Music Fest. He noticed everyone's favorite Canadian rock star, Carl "A.C." Newman. Bandleader. Rock star. Dude with tremendous resemblance to yours truly.

See? (It was down for a few days. See, now?)


See? Scary, right?

So, last week, after The New Pornographers came up in conversation (well, they didn't so much "come up," as I brought them up), I pointed out the resemblance to another friend. He was stunned.

And it was decided - let's be creepy, and add a picture of myself (well, A.C. Newman, but, to many, me, though with worse teeth) to my computer desktop background.

I did it at about noon. Two people were in on the joke. By 12:25, I got my first double-take from someone not in the know. By 4, the prank was being perpetrated.

Actual email exchange, after Coworker X - one of my favorites, and one of those that I know pretty well - had seen my computer while sitting at someone else's desk:

From: Coworker X
To: Me
Sent: Wednesday, August 22, 2007 4:02 P.M.
Subject: Your Background

Is that you on your computer's background?

- - - -


From: Me
To: Coworker X
Sent: Wednesday, August 22, 2007 4:05 P.M.
Subject: re: Your Background

Yup. Pretty sweet, eh?

- - - -

From: Coworker X
To: Me
Sent: Wednesday, August 22, 2007 4:11 P.M.
Subject: re: Your Background

Other than the fact that I think it's the first time I've ever seen anyone use a picture of them self as a background (that's a little vain), yeah it's pretty sweet.

Do you sing in some band that I'm not aware - a Goober tribute maybe? (ed: Detroit early 90's cowpunk Goober & the Peas, who in latest incarnations featured Jack "White" Gillis on drums)

- - - -


From: Me
To: Coworker X
Sent: Wednesday, August 22, 2007 4:30 P.M.
Subject: re: Your Background

Indie rock covers, dude. GbV. Pavement. White Stripes. We're King Shit & the Golden Boys, after a GbV record.

- - - -


From: Coworker X
To: Me
Sent: Wednesday, August 22, 2007 5:11 P.M.
Subject: re: Your Background

Are you really in a band?

Around here?

Are you cooler than I had pegged you for?

- - - -

From: Me
To: Coworker X
Sent: Wednesday, August 22, 2007 5:18 P.M.
Subject: re: Your Background

I thought you pegged me as cool. Guess not.

College friends - we play a few weekends a month in Chicago and Evanston and the suburbs.

Never played up here - [local bar] sucks, and there's not really the audience.


- - - -

From: Coworker X
To: Me
Sent: Wednesday, August 22, 2007 5:20 P.M.
Subject: re: Your Background

Well, I just had you at a 10, no I find out you could be an 11? I don't know.

- - - - - - -

It was awesome. I admitted my deception Wednesday morning but, for 16 glorious hours, I was a indie rock covers band rock star. I can't sing.

- - - - - - - - -

Briefly, now, The New Pornographers record, Challengers, is boring. I guess the opener, "My Rights Versus Yours" is nice enough, as is the second song, "All The Old Showstoppers." But even those, relative "standouts" on the record, are pretty boring. Slow. Boring.

Neko is absolutely wasted on her two leads, painfully slow songs "Challengers," which is the third track, and "Go Places," which both plod and drag and, well, suck. The new fulltime member, Katherine Calder ("Neko-lite," kind of), is boring on "Failsafe," and Newman lead "Unguided" is a six-minute song that hits some sort of stride at about two minutes, but really isn't worth six minutes.

So, yeah, the point is that the best song on the record, by a lot, is "Mutiny, I Promise You," which is the tenth track. "All The Things That Go To Make Heaven and Earth" is pretty solid, too, though the second-best song is probably Dan Bejar's "Myriad Harbour," only because of the lyric:

Bejar: I said to John, "Do you think the girls here..."
Everyone: "e-ver won-der how they got so pret-ty?"
Bejar: Well, I do.

But, you know, Dan Bejar songs shouldn't be the second-best songs on New Pornos records, because it's really Carl Newman's thing, and Carl Newman is fantastically talented. Awesome. He's super. But he's boring this time, and it's just too bad.

I don't even know why he got so boring on this record. Because he got boring.

- - - - - -

Nemo made fun of me for calling CJ Bacher an All Big Ten candidate.

Here's the logic:

1) He moved the ball, a fair amount, as the starter.

2) Nobody else is back. Henne is. Juice Williams and his 36% pass success rate. Curtis Painter is back. Anthony Morelli is back. So, you see, the quarterback play isn't that good. CJ Bacher, however, is good.

This is not my Northwestern football preview. Aiming for Wednesday or Thursday on that. This is, however, why I like CJ Bacher.

I also forgot to mention Brendan Smith, who's pretty much fantastic, as an all-conference candidate.

- - - - - - -

Let's talk briefly about the Big Ten Network. I want the Big Ten Network. Currently, the Big Ten website seems to be proudly touting that Comcast is "Unlikely" to Carry the BTN at Launch, though it's having 'productive' discussions with the other four major cable carriers in the Midwest, of which I'm a customer of one.

There's a reasonable argument for putting BTN on the expanded basic package, being that it's of more general interest than, say, (I think) G4 or Versus network (now that Lance is gone), and that it's "kind of" local programming.

The other argument is that, well, I don't know if 11 days of live football and 30something days of live men's basketball justify the rest of the programming that'll likely suck. I don't know. I just want the ability to pay my seven bucks and watch the Cats on TV from home, rather than paying the 20 bucks to sit at Hooters while trying to cut out my own little corner of the bar, attempting to properly watch in peace. (My Bears bar of choice from last season is now, sadly, closed.)

- - - - - - -

I was highly productive in my final bonus three-day weekend of the summer. Out for a beer or two Thursday night. A dentist appointment (I need my first career filling, which is just embarrassing) and a cheap, Par 3 course round of golf with a coworker Friday morning. Some cleaning. A grocery store trip Saturday morning, then drinking myself into bolivian with a friend Saturday night. Some cleaning. A crappy round of golf with the same friend Sunday afternoon, perhaps crappy due to having drank myself into bolivian Saturday night.

I'll miss 'bonus' three-day weekends, though I won't miss departing for work at 6:50.

Plus, I've got back-to-back three-day weekends coming anyway. A week from Friday - Tigs-Mariners will be great.

(Also, Cubs-Brewers, starting tomorrow night, will be pretty great, too.)

- - - - - - -

Michael Vick did a good job of apologizing. His actions are pretty evil, but at least he seemed contrite and didn't blame anybody and didn't say "mistakes were made" or "I apologize to those who were offended." He said "I'm sorry. I made mistakes. I'll learn from this." (Though he brought Jesus into it, which is annoying.)

It seems like he's getting more punishment than Ray Lewis, who, you know, murdered a person, and I don't think that's fair, really.

I've got ESPN Monday Night Football on in the background right now, and I think Tony and Mike and Jaws will be eminently awesome this year. It's nice when you have people that like each other in the booth.

And Tony ripped the NFL for not letting the players talk about Mike Vick today, a nice stand to take, I think. It's gutsy, maybe stupid, for him to rip the NFL, after all.

So, I guess it's been too long again. It's odd that it's so long between posts, because sometimes I think I'd like to write things, and then there's never enough time. Seriously. I'm oddly busy, though not really.

But, I came to this realization on, say, last Thursday, when I was impressed with my perfect willingness to go to bed (not sleep, which would come after 45 minutes of reading) at 11: I'm going to sleep at 11. If I fell asleep right now, I'd still only get 7 1/2 hours of sleep. And that's because I showered earlier this evening, and because I hurry hurry hurry through my morning routine, which sees me out of bed around 6:30, and out the door by 6:50.

The second realization: That's freakin' early.

I've been on extended summer hours, which are certainly worth the (every other three-day weekend) tradeoff, but which really take their toll, like, all the time. It's a 7:30 to 5:30 day and, adding in the commute, that makes for a 6:50 to 6:10 day. That's a long, long, long day, when it comes down to it.

Sadly (and, really, scarily), our extended summer hours come to an end just two weeks from now (two weeks from now!), after Labor Day. This will mean closer to a 7:15 to 5:45 day. A month later, our office moves far closer, which will mean a 7:40 to 5:25 day, which will be, just, well, totally awesome. (The reason the front and back additional times don't seem to remain consistent is because they reflect the obligatory time I feel like staying extra, perhaps, during these times.)

- - - - - -

So, really, if I'm trying to come up with significances of the past two weeks between entries, the list if pretty short. ("Significances" doesn't cause a misspelling red flag, which seems weird. I guess it's a word.)

I've kind of been looking kind of into maybe doing some graduate-level business school stuff. Salary-bumping stuff. Full-time, perhaps, next year. That's news.

As part of that, I went to an info session for a local school that offers one of those part-time programs last week. I kind of made it clear that I wasn't necessarily interested in getting any sort of degree from this local school, but that I might be interested in taking a few classes and getting some transfer credits and what not. So I apologize in advance to the admissions person for being "a bit crass," and I point to her recruiting materials and, specifically, to the mention of their "regional" goals, and point out that I'm not necessarily committed to here and I want to potentially continue schooling somewhere else a year from now and - "you want to know if we're a real school, right?" she interrupts. "Exactly!"

And she assures me that they are, so I hand in my application, fee removed because I showed for the info session. A good tradeoff, whatever the resolution.

- - - - -

The other significance is related to this as well. When you live in somewhere as remote as The Ring Fingernail, and when you can't really carve out a four-hour block during a Monday through Friday, scheduling a test is a bitch. Closest testing center is about two hours away. Next one? Also, about two hours. Then, say 2 1/2 hours. Tough to do it.

The upshot? I'll be taking a GMAT on homecoming Friday, in the 'burbs. It'll be an afternoon exam, so I'm sure I won't miss any festivities, but it's still quite an inconvenience.

I had grand plans to take the test the third weekend of the college football season. It'd've been perfect - a Friday night drive. A Saturday morning test. A Saturday afternoon drive home, with the Irish and Wolverines providing the accompaniment. A Cats destruction of the Blue Devils that night. Now, I'll just settle for the latter two.

- - - - - -

Did I mention that I'm totally geeked for college football season? I am, even though the only reasonable expectation for the Cats is 5 to 7 wins. I guess, though, that when they shared the conference title, the only reasonable expectation was 4 to 6 wins.

Andrew Brewer's probably out for the season, which sucks.

I think I'll aim to have my season preview ("entirely wrong or your money back") up, say, by the Wednesday before the season starts.

There's certainly a lot returning for NU this year, including all-conference contenders at four spots on offense (QB, RB, OT Thiry, C Rees) and four more on defense, at least (Wootton, Kadela, B. Smith, Batman). They lost not-that-much, which is nice. And their coach, you know, can be a coach this year, rather than a counselor-PR guy-voice of a generation. I think he should grow a beard or a gut, though, so he didn't look so, so, so...22 years old.

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A few significant other sports notes:

- The Tiges called up Cameron Maybin, who homered against Roger Clemens in his second big league game. I think he's going to be awesome.

- Brady Quinn made his preseason debut.

Here's the problem. Both are projected as stars, I'd say. Do we want sports heroes named "Cameron" and "Brady?" Hell no we don't. Parents, name your children well. You never know when kids might start looking up to them.

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The first-place Chicago Cubs. Sweet.

Thursday has fantastic awesome potential. The Cubs play at 3:35 EDT. I might - might - be able to catch the last few innings when I get home from work. Just like elementary school. It might - might be so freakin' cool.

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I like getting mail.

Here's what I've gotten recently:
1) A purple Northwestern hoodie. I should've ordered an XL but, alas, I ordered the not-bulky-enough (and I knew this the moment I ordered it) L, which should serve the purpose.

2) A Northwestern media guide, free, from AD Mark Murphy. This is because I emailed him, looking to buy one, and noticed they weren't on the school's site. (Also, more importantly, there wasn't another contact email address, and his was the only one I had. So, why the hell not?) Awesomely, he wrote back within a day, offering a free one. I ended my "Here's my address" email with a note about "Thanks for your commitment to the department and the school," something schmaltzy, and his response began with "You're welcome." It was mostly in response to "Thanks for the media guide," but was still pretty funny.

3) The most incredible CD ever.

It came from my sister, who is one week into a year-or-so journey overseas. She made it for the entertainment of her siblings and friends. Also, because she was unemployed and, presumably, needed something to do.

The concept: Accompaniment free karaoke, a.k.a. Tone-deaf a capella!

The method:
She wears headphones.
She prints a song's lyric sheet.
She plays the song in her headphones.
She records the vocals into her computer.
She distributes to, hopefully, six or fewer people.

The tracklist:
"Wouldn't It Be Nice?"
"When I'm Sixty-Four"
"Crazy In Love" (opening line: "Things are so crazy right now.")
"I'll Make Love to You" (that's Boyz II Men, friends)
"Everyday" (Buddy Holly - I don't know it.)
"Tiny Dancer"
"Grand Central" (Gillian Williams)
"Carey" (Joni Mitchell. Amazing. "Oh, you're a mean old daddy but I like you, I like you I li-ike you.")
"Hounds of Love" (Kate Bush. Pure obliteration on my sister's part. Amazing.)
"Brandy" (Kenny Chesney)
"Country Grammar" (that's the "Down down baby" song, featuring the word "nigga" 16 distinct times in a single verse. Record-breaking.)
"Young Folks" (though she didn't try to do the made-it-a-semi-hit whistling part)
"Fit But You Know It" (The Streets. Appropriately, it ends the mix with her saying, "Fuckin' Hell.")

My sister's pretty cool. I won't see her at Christmas this year. Probably won't see her until next September or so. That's a bit sad, but we'll deal with it.

It's been too long but, I mean, you're probably cool with that.

In what is some sort of record for me post-1999, I've seen two movies at theaters in a period of six days.

Capsule reviews:

The Simpsons Movie was about everything I could have hoped for, and about everything that the generally-positive reviews left me expecting. The plot was properly absurd, and enough to fill the 80-minute running time. There were enough appearances of the minor characters to entertain the longtime fans, though I would have hoped for more Apu and perhaps a scene in Moe's. (I'm not sure that those Moe's scenes are as much of a staple anymore, but I think the movie could have easily benefited from a distraught-Homer-drunk-at-Moe's scene. Though Moe got a pretty good sans-Homer scene.) The minor-minor characters got their day in the sun, as Comic Book Store Guy got a funnish mini-scene. Among minor-minor-minor characters, I don't think I saw Disco Stu, which is a shame. And, of course, there was no chance to see Troy McClure. We got Santa's Little Helper, inexplicably.

The part that hit closest to home came when a street-performing (tap dancing?) penguin was a Walrus drive-by victim.

You probably roughly knows what happens, though it doesn't really matter. Plot: Homer ruins town, Homer saves town. Lots happens in between.

It's just so damn subversive, in its own way. Great scene when Bart puts a black bra on his head (stolen from somebody's luggage), raises his voice an octave or two, and mockingly says, "I'm the mascot of an evil corporation." Countless anti-government statements pervade, and movie-wide EPA-bashing prevails. And President Schwarzenegger (sp?) gets to say, "Whoa. That's like Christmas at the Kennedys." He also says, roughly, "I'm here to lead, not read." He does not declare himself The Decider, however. (Of course, the political stuff wasn't really that political, and it's certainly not the focus of the movie.)

In many ways, it was the perfect distillation of the show, when the show was good. Lots and lots of chuckles. Lots and lots. And, in what defines a good comedy, in some way, it seems like everyone in the theater had a different belly-laugh moment. Everything was pretty funny, that is.

Maggie said her first word in the closing credits: "Sequel." I can only assume they're joking.

Recommendation: See it.

Grace is Gone, which won the Audience Award at Sundance and was featured at an event that makes me proud to be a Ring Fingernail resident, was really, really great. Pretty understated, I thought. Pretty neat.

Neat premise, a reverse on the traditional premise: Middle-aged man's wife is killed at war in Iraq. He doesn't know how to tell his daughters, so they go on a road trip. Eventually, I cry a little. Then some more. But they're manly tears. The middle-aged man is John Cusack, so it's cooler.

It's funny and emotional and the 12-year-old daughter is just fantastic, I thought. It's got a great scene where John Cusack buys cigarettes for his daughter, then hacks and hacks and hacks. The eight-year-old girl is properly funny and silly and moves at about 100 miles an hour.

I think it'll be marketed as an anti-war movie when it gets wide release, but I don't think that'll be real appropriate. It's not really a war movie at all, I don't think; it's just a family movie. A people movie, with war in the background. The only person who comes out as unlikeable is the anti-war guy, though he's not that unlikeable.

Apparently, John Cusack made the movie because he was outraged at the US government's policy of not allowing the media to show images of the caskets of soldiers during the current wars. So, I guess he's making an anti-war statement, though the statement would seem to be "War sucks," more than "This war sucks."

Anyway, I'd highly recommend it.

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I fell asleep watching Bonds HR number 756 on Tuesday night. I woke up for the celebration, but missed the moment.

Many, many players cheated, and we know that, but most weren't gigantic rectums, as Bonds was. This is why it sucks that Bonds broke the record, though the cheating reason sucks, too.

Four things about the night:
I guess it was classy that Hank Aaron made a videotaped appearance, but I wish he hadn't. I'm impressed by the fact that the video has been in the can for a month, and nobody found out. I noticed no subtle insults in the video, and the "Dreams can come true" message is nice enough.

I was struck by Bonds' thank you speech. It's subtle, but never did he say "Thank" without prefacing it with, "I gotta." There's no part of him that wanted to thank anybody - he was obligated to do it. He was made to. Not unlike when Zack Morris thanked everyone for listening to "my" music - not "our" music. It's like The Zack Attack was a one-man show, or something.

Mark Sweeney shook Bonds' hand, and was one of the first there. Sweeney is the guy who Bonds accused of providing him with amphetamines when he was caught last year. Classy, I guess.

I wonder if Pat Misch shook his hand. I'd imagine it would've been the first time. Maybe I can follow up on this pressing aspect of the story.

- - - - - -

Nemo reports that Pete Nemo booed number 755 in San Diego. Nemo, as I recall, was basically silent. He reports a very anti-climactic feeling, perhaps because nobody really cared.

- - - - - -

In talking about the record, Pat and Ron just talked about how, no doubt, the best baseball happened in the 1960's. Of course, Latin America wasn't scouted nearly as much in the 60's, and there were no players from Japan in the 60's, so it must have been the best era. Also, players didn't train year-round in the 60's, and pitchers threw 280 innings in the 60's, despite getting into shape in spring training. But they were definitely better. Bullpens were non-existent in the 1960's, so you never had to deal with a fresh arm throwing 96 in the seventh, then a new one in the eighth, then a new one, throwing 99, in the ninth. But Milt Pappas in the ninth in 1964 was definitely better than Bobby Jenks in the ninth in 2006.

In any sport where performance can actually be measured - track, swimming, speed skating, whatever - world records fall on an annual basis. And, yet, people argue that there's no way baseball players have improved at all since 1969. These people are stupid.

- - - - - - -

It looks like we'll be turning lemons (no carryover, not even two weeks' worth, on vacation days) into lemonade in about four weeks. I'm eagerly anticipating a trip to see Ichiro.

Why we love Ichiro:
"To tell the truth, I'm not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to. If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face, because I'm lying."

More on Ichiro's awesomeness here.

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I got the new Okkervil River record this week. It's called The Stage Names, and it's pretty good. There's a cool, cool song called "Plus Ones," which makes several song references that I get, and several that I probably missed.

These include the 97th tear, the 100th red balloon, the 51st way to leave your lover, and the "4th time you were a lady." The star of the chorus is the 8th Chinese brother. It's clever.

The last song is about the poet John Berryman, who I've never heard of, but I know he's dead. I know he's dead because The Hold Steady wrote about him, awesomely, in "Stuck Between Stations":

The devil and John Berryman took a walk together
And they ended up on Washington talking to the river
He said, "I've surrounded myself with doctors and deep thinkers,
but big heads and soft bodies make for lousy lovers.
It was that night that we thought that John Berryman could fly.
But he didn't and so he died.
She said, "You're pretty with words, but words won't save your life."
And they didn't, so he died.

Man, Craig Finn is so cool.

So is Will Sheff. In his John Berryman song, towards the end, the song "Sloop John B." emerges. And then it's rewritten, suicide-note style.

"...and I hear the others all whispering, come home.
I'm sorry to go. I loved you all so,
but this is the worst trip I've ever been on."

and it continues, of course...
"So hoist up the John B. sail. See how the main sail sets." Cool. Just cool.

The Stage Names has some story arc, about being a mid-level rock band. Okkervil River is probably giving itself too much credit by claiming "mid-level" status but, hey, more power to them.

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Often, when I get home slightly tipsy, I eat popcorn. Sometimes I eat fruit. Or cereal.

Last night, I had chicken wings.

Nobody was harmed, and the wings were good. Real good.

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I played a par-3 course Thursday afternoon, and shot a 40. I got par on three holes. I'm kind of proud of that. We would've played the par-32 course, but there was a women's league, and we couldn't get on the tee until 6:40, and "it's really slow play," the cashier informed us. So we played the par-3.

I'm playing a grownup course Saturday morning. I'm getting a disease.