several options here:

1) full, long-winded weekend recap.
2) "i'm tired, so i'll recap tomorrow," knowing full-well it will never happen
3) brief recap, featuring "shout-outs" to those involved, and the like
4) "best-of" post
5) ignore my personal involvement, and just write about the cats

i think i'll go with 4), which is unsatisfying. but 1) usually becomes long-winded. 2) never happens, 3) means that i'd be associated with "shout-outs" and 5) would be sad. (24 hour rule nonwithstanding.)

so, it's 4)

best-of friday:

1) "don't stop believin'," courtesy of steve perry and 1.75 million confused sox fans
2) upon arrival in the actual wicker park (the actual!), setting a koosh record of 50 back-and-forths with nemo. the pot-smoking hipsters were unimpressed, although the pigeons weren't.
3) watching the interpol guy on jeopardy with treem and eddie canto. canto, yes!
4) taco soup. mmm, taco soup.
5) the rapid-fire pumpkin-carving done by s (full name withheld), clearly a master of her craft
6) my "M Sucks" jack-o-lantern, which came out better than expected. (and, as i told everyone who would listen on saturday, better than any art project i'd ever been involved in. i also said this, to zero audible laughs, at least once on sunday.)
7) getting tabbed as a future rock star married to neko case and living in iowa with five children and driving (rather, riding) a stretch hummer in my first post-80's game of mash. gurs' "detective married to winnie cooper in new orleans" was far less impressive, although i don't recall his car or amound of children.
8) onion.

best-of saturday
1) hearing "my kind of soldier" twice, as part of the "gurs' ipod, beginning with 'my impression now'" rotation. i believe there were 31 "my" songs, including several repeats.
2) asking gurs "what's hip top?" then asking mike "what's hip top?" then opening the reader and reading, aloud: "boutique of the week: hip top." (note: i wasn't actually interested in hip top.)
3) visibly shaking. not due to nerves, but due to lots and lots of caffeine.
4) exiting the ryan field east lot to pick up nemo. checking left. seeing a university of michigan plate. turning right. hearing honk. turning left. seeing a university of michigan plate. turning back right again. hearing honk. turning left. realizing that my friend was supporting the enemy, although not by choice.
5) destroying sonny bono and his four michigan minions in flip cup. 3-0, a clean sweep. and they had no chance. i believe i had a very strong record in flip cup, winning the majority of my competitions.
6) playing leapfrog, albeit briefly.
7) celebretory "go u northwesterns" after flip cup victories.
8) accidentally calling the s-brother "cycling guy," not realizing that he had simply put on a sweatshirt.
9) shaking jitim's hand. simply saying "thank you."
10) constant self-reassurances of "sure we're down, but we're clearly the better team."
11) philmore's end-of-first-half catch.
12) turning to the guy on the upper deck with the intent to give him a cat claw. instead, giving him the double-bird salute.
13) post-game, one of four tilapia po 'boys consumed at the table. i drank several iced teas, and learned about charter schools during this time.
14) uttering "now you got me fired up" to gurs at about 2:30, followed by him sneaking out of the room and me falling asleep shortly after.

best-of sunday:
1) quality time with gurs. you don't miss it until you remember how fantastic it is.
2) charles tillman
3) brisket and mashed potatoes, courtesy of mom.

best-of monday:
1) waking up approximately on schedule, and getting out of the house approximately on schedule, and getting unpacked approximately (a freshly washed and waxed car full of meats, produce, at least seven boxes of cereal, three weeks' worth of laundry) on schedule (my parents are the best), and getting my haircut approximately on schedule.

worst-of monday:
the fact that bernstein and boers are on at 2-6, meaning that my morning drive was narrated by brian hanley, then mike murphy, then wbez, then wxrt, then kanye west, then mike murphy again, then, briefly, bernstein and boers again.

worst-of overall:
jenny time=zero. my fault. had my friday chance, but blew it. i think i offended gurs by saying that, in retrospect, i wish i had spent the final 25 percent of the night with nemo and crew. this was not meant as insult, just a regret of missing jenny.

game thoughts:

1) highly disappointing.
2) i mentioned in my purdue recap that the cats weren't focusing on the run. i tried not to sound concerned, and i wasn't really. i didn't mention it during the michigan state recap, but i noticed - again - a non-commitment to the run. i minded it less then, because the passing game was so unstoppable. but, clearly, the fact that northwestern hadn't gone run-first in three weeks hurt them against michigan. they ran the shovel-option play just once, for a four-yard herbert catch. i can't recall a single shotgun play-action, which is such a staple of the offense.
3) the corollary is that, of course, every time they ran the ball, they committed a penalty. i saw austin king greeting someone after the game, and couldn't help but saying "number 62 wouldn't have committed three holding penalties in the biggest game of the season."
4) they were scared, or at least they played like it.
5) northwestern made, i believe, five big plays on offense in the second half. three were runs called back by penalties. two were third-down passes dropped.
6) michigan's defense deserves some credit. so does the referee. so does a 2003-like performance by baz. so does the early momentum-losing fumble by sutton.
7) i didn't see many games in the stands as a student. however, i'm confident in saying that this was the best ryan field student crowd since the citrus bowl season. bravo to the students. and to the young alumni.
8) it's too bad when your defense plays its best game of the season in a loss.
9) chad henne's not that good. but he was good enough.
10) in some ways, jason avant's intense celebration (a hard thrust of the arms into the air at the kneel-down of henne) is at least a bit gratifying. they got a battle, and they won it.

i wish they had played better. i believe 2005 northwestern wins 7 out of 10 from 2005 michigan at ryan field. but northwestern players have never been in the spotlight like this.

i'm frustrated because, with three losses in the books, and probably four or five for the season, we're hoping for nashville or el paso or detroit. with three losses in the books, and probably four or five for the season [i haven't looked at the schedule, but i know they've got the buckeyes left], michigan's looking at new year's day in florida.

but, then again, a michigan fan has enjoyed exactly 24 hours of this season - the 24 hours following the henne-to-manningham game-winner against penn state. as a northwestern fan, i've enjoyed all but about 4 days of the season - and i've been downright giddy for entire weeks on end. i think it's more satisfying to be a northwestern fan; rather than relief, wins bring joy, and there's something to be said for that.

still, i wasn't joyful saturday, or for any of sunday. (until the 24-hour time-limit elapsed; beginning at 9:15 p.m., i was squarely focused on the hawkeyes. eat dirt tate.)

anyway, i'd count this past weekend (extended to four days) as the best since ... well, i don't know specifically. probably the most fun since gbv in december. just fantastic, and thanks to all involved.

briefly.

congratulations to the white sox. they. are. awesome. gammons said that - outside of the yankees - they might be the best team of the past 25 years. and he might be right.

i remember the talk about the great part of that yankees team was the fact that they might not have a hall of famer on the roster.

of course...
jeter's a hall of famer.
mariano's a hall of famer.

pettitte's not. bernie wasn't good enough. o'neill wasn't good long enough.

how about this white sox team...

potential hall of famers:
theoretically, buehrle
in the same way, potentially konerko

of course, they've got a long way to go...
but pods and uribe and most likely crede and pierzynski and (although he might make a leap at some point) rowand and garcia and garland (he could also make a leap) and contreras are not.

ozzie guillen will be.

- - - - -

i got a great message from my white sox fan friend at midnight yesterday...

"hey man. i'm not calling to rub it in. okay. none of that i'm a sox fan and you suck kind of stuff. i just wish you could feel this."

and then he proceeded to explain that he was pulling for the cubs the next time the sox fall out of it. which he shouldn't, but it was a nice sentiment. i should mention that he was probably really drunk at this point.

- - - - - -

we went 0-2 in our softball finale, a disappointing finish to a fun season. the highlight came on a relay play, when our shortstop plunked a runner in the back of the neck. she was okay. her next time rounding the bases, she was again headed to third, and someone (not me, thankfully) said "peg her again." it was funny, i think.

i was 4-for-6 with two doubles on the day, with my two hardest-hit balls going for lineouts to right-center. i think i finish 23-for-28, which is certainly a solid performance.

our offense was abysmal. lots of people trying to hit home runs, which led to lots of opposite field popups.

highlight came in the second inning of the second game. our hyper-competitive (and not very good, or very fun) manager was playing at third. a line drive - a smash - came his way. he reached for it. it hit the pocket of the glove, then fell out. everybody safe.

and then he pretends he's hurt. calls time. asks to get a few balls tossed his way. "i might have fractured my hand." it was so fourth-grade, it was awesome.

- - - - -

apple pie and wolverine meat on the agenda. go cats. roar.

yesterday (monday) was not a good day. it started with me taking my car to the shop, then walking the 15 minutes to work. well, actually, it started when i couldn't sleep. it was the coldest day of the season, and my nose was running. then, i spoke with boss 2 and confirmed that there's no accountability in my office. (a coworker either flat-out lied, or simply can't use a computer, and lost a week's worth of work. boss2's response: "well, just continue as if the data's been updated.) said coworker's "golden boy" status was confirmed, despite a lack of personality and nothing but his mode of dress going for him. (i'm not jealous, but that's just frustrating.) the greatest coworker in the world is departing. in town, but departing. also, i drank about 7 cups of coffee during the course of the day, but was completely drowsy.

i think there was something else that made work suck.

the postwork part of the day was far better. a beer with the greatest coworker in the world. i accidentally locked myself out of the apartment, but the problem was addressed quickly. and at no cost. also, the library brought in chuck klosterman's sex, drugs and cocoa puffs, which is pointless but entertaining.

- - - - -

today was far better. it was a perfect autumn day. the walk in was brisk, but bearable. the lunch walk was fantastic. i also changed the morning routine a bit, putting coffee grounds and water in the coffee maker, then - poof - turning it on before heading to the shower. coffee made for a much better walk in. i also got to help my coworker with his letter of resignation. he did not follow my hilarious advice to present the letter to the boss on the backside of a flyer for a cancelled concert. (we "recycle" paper at the office.) really, not much different happened, but the weather has a tremendous effect on me, i think. good thing i don't live in fargo or something. also, i continued to do the work that golden boy lied about/completely f'ed up.

the only bad part of the day... (not bad, but an odd feeling)
i was really the only one who knew about coworker's imminent departure. so i told my favorite elder statesman in the office. (yesterday, i called him "everyone's sounding board," and i think he appreciated it. he's the only person in our office of... seven ... that everyone enjoys, i think.) he was blindsided - stunned - and i explained the logic about how it was "time for him to make actual money" and "at some point, you need to make more money than your age" (think about that...) and "sure he'll miss the games, but he'll still come to them" and things like that. and then we got to talking about me. and my frustrations here. (no pay. long hours. no appreciation. no pay.) and he said, "why don't you send off a resume to john deere? a lot of my friends' kids have great careers there. great company. i'm sure there's a sales position or a marketing job or a pr role that you could fill." and i considered it. and, to me, that's scary, in it's own way.

- - - - -

last week, i entered the pantheon of dorkiness by bragging about appearing on "who you crappin'?" today, i further entered the pantheon of dorkiness, here. don't read if you think i fall into the category of "not a dork." because this is pretty conclusive proof in the other way.

- - - - -

i often come up with interesting things to write about. then i forget. that's frustrating.

- - - - -

i don't want to sound like "the annoying white sox fan with a ferocious inferiority complex," (most real sox fans are, of course) but it seems to me that joe buck has spent the entire postseason dwelling on all of the umpiring mistakes that have gone the white sox way.

one example: the jermaine dye hit-by-pitch. he called the konerko grand slam "controversial" before they even showed a replay.

another example: again, early in the game tonight, he referred to a.j. pierzynski "faking out the umpire" when running to first during the alcs. hello! he wasn't trying to confuse the ump; he was running because he was unsure.

now, tonight...
in the fourth inning, jason lane clearly does not hit a home run. this is not even fringe-inconclusive. and there's an ump stationed in left precisely to make that call. and yet, it's not been mentioned since the top of the fifth, when video replays confirmed that the call was blown.

i hate joe buck, mostly because of his arrogance. but also, as has been written, because of professional jealousy. (pretty much, because i've got the wrong dad.)

- - - - -

i'll be honest...i've never heard the phrase "jump the shark" used except in the awful joke "hasn't the phrase 'jump the shark' really jumped the shark." (zing!)

three questions:
1) has anybody ever used this phrase outside of the bad joke?
2) what could possibly be the origin of this completely dumb phrase.

help is appreciated.

- - - - -

unstadt has a live journal! link at right. waiting period waived.

- - - - -

i'm very excited to receive the silver jews' tanglewood numbers in the post. i'm slightly-less-excited to receive the clientele's strange geometry in the same package. i still have a discover-card-earned $25 gift card to borders to use, and i'll be getting another one soon, but i've got nothing to buy. (borders didn't get either disc that i just ordered; i wanted both.) i'm looking for suggestions.

i will not be getting the new fiery furnaces album. ahh, the power of pitchfork. and of my "bad idea" detector.

i may purchase the new joggers album. the first was fantastic. i sense that that will be "mail order only," however.

- - - - - -

what i'm looking forward to with greater intensity than receiving the cds...

tomorrow night's softball tournament finals. and this weekend's imminent trip to the c-h-i. and, most intensely, the hundreds of dollars of groceries that i'll scam off of my mom. (i'm only now out of the meat she gave me last time; that was in early september.) woof.

the cats just killed michigan state today. it wasn't even close. by the middle of the second quarter, it wasn't even particularly interesting. a bit interesting. it certainly wasn't interesting when the cats scored touchdowns on their first four possessions of the second half.

nemo said to me, i believe, "it's just so fun when you can tell the other team just doesn't want to be there anymore." and that's what it was like when baz found philmore in the endzone for the 49-7 deficit with ten minutes left. and it's the second time they've done that in conference play this season; while there was the fluke comeback, wisconsin had loaded up the bus to madison with about 12 minutes left a few weeks ago.

defensively, brendan smith made a fine play on the interception in the end zone, and herschel henderson continued to play well. as much as the spartans moved the ball (and they did move the ball), it seemed like the d-cats showed very well for themselves. gill's name was said pretty frequently. mims made a fine strip on the first half's biggest play, and david norrie didn't stop drooling over the play of nick roach (i believe he - maybe quoting r-dub - mentioned the possibility of a ten-year nfl career).

david norrie also predicted that brett basanez would be a heisman trophy finalist, which is just awesome to hear. it's, of course, inaccurate (it's gotta be, right?), and david norrie's hyper-praise for basanez is getting annoying, but it's pretty neat to hear, too.

my two favorite plays of the game (other than the stanton to mims' paw to eaton's gut to the endzone):

second quarter, sutton lined up to the right of baz. shotgun. snap. sutton runs the video game "hb circle", angling 45 degrees right, then a 90-degree cut to the middle. baz hits him as he exits the break and sutton, making the catch in stride, scampers down the left sideline for a 41-yard gain. he scored a touchdown on the next play.

third quarter. what a cut by peterman on his touchdown. a stop-spin-move after the angle in and, again, baz hit him right on the numbers.

no doubt in my mind that baz is the best quarterback in the conference. nationally, vince young and matt leinart might be better. that's it.

assuming penn state held on to its 63-3 lead, new conference power rankings:
1) ohio state
2) penn state
3) northwestern
4) wisconsin
5) michigan
6) michigan state
7) minnesota
8) iowa
9) indiana
10) purdue
11) illinois

local hawkeye beat writer is also an associated press voter, and he's moving the cats from unranked to top 20. he's also predicted a cats win over iowa, 55-42.

first things first, however, i think northwestern is going to beat michigan. and, like this one, i don't think it'll be that interesting. this, of course, contingent on the weather. (if it's slick, like 1998, things'll be tough for the spread/multiple-i.)

- - - - - - - - -

joe crede's the best.

i accomplished a lifetime goal not 45 minutes ago. a piddling, stupid lifetime goal, but a lifetime goal nonetheless.

the time was 5:50, and i appeared on the bernstein and boers show on am 670, the score. bernstein and boers are absolutely genius and complete dolts, and they host the ever-popular "who ya crappin' " segment, the station's 'signature segment.'

my script went something like this:

"out in the quad cities, andrew is on the score." (note: i did ask to be known as "pierre pierce's insatiable libido." unfortunately, the intern who picked up the phone didn't understand me, found the name objectionable, or was incredibly stupid. bernstein and boers would have loved it.)

"thankfully, i've only been holding this crap for 20 minutes. this goes out to [station update guy] chris rongey [ron-jee - correctly pronounced], who in his most recent update informed us that northwestern's brett bas-a-nezz was named a finalist for the johnny unitas award. thankfully, chris didn't also inform us that matt lee-NART and DJ shoke-lay were also finalists. chris, you've got eight hours a day to prepare 16 minutes of airtime; i wish you could have found the time to learn that northwestern's four year starter is named brett bas-a-nay. chris ron-gay, i love you, but who are you crappin'?"

yes, it's trifling and stupid, but i believe he made a flagrant professional error, and it did anger me. i get angered by stupid things.

so, no, it's not running a marathon or running a marathon or running marathon (i think other friends have run marathons, i just couldn't find their blog entries), but it was fun.

- - - - -

softball was fantastic on wednesday night. facing the prospect of this being our last week if we lost even once, we swept our opponents, 17-2 (4 innings) and 10-8. the second game was particularly fun, because it featured well-played defense on both ends, my pants partially falling down while legging out a triple, our complete high school cheeleader looking confused like a complete high school cheerleader while chasing after a ball that bounced past her, and a dork on the other team who said to his pitcher, angrily: "where were you there? you've got to be covering the plate."

i think i was 5-for-6 on the day, grounding out in the first game, collecting a triple, a double, and three singles. i think this puts me to 19-for-22. the rocket went 0-for-2 in the first inning of the second game, committing two of the three outs in a five-run opening inning.

the reason for our domination: airtight defense, as i wrote. i was in left, as always. (i didn't see a catchable flyball all game. in fact, i don't think anything but grounders through the infield came to left.) we had our number one left side of the infield intact for the first time since the opener. one of the higher-ups brought his wife (outstanding at second) and his collegiate softball-playing daughter (outstanding at first, can't hit for crap) for a dominant right side. and one of our regulars brought in a ringer who plays a solid right-center. and, unlike most of our ringers, this one actually is mildly connected to the rest of us, making her a bit more legitimate.

an awful girl regular (one of the high schoolers) didn't make it. a husband-and-wife duo (he tries to hit it out every time, and pops up a lot; she plays adequate first base, and is our best-hitting female regular) were also absent. i think our best ten would include the wife replacing the high school cheerleader, and no other changes to the lineup out there last night. (in other news, the high school cheerleader, an actual high school cheerleader who was on our gameday staff this summer, was making "defeat the devils" football player locker signs between games. priceless, no?)

another reason for our domination: with one high school girl absent, and with the fat dude absent, and with our pitcher concentrating on hitting line drives instead of homers, just about everybody hit it hard. particularly the boss' wife, who is one of the best females we've seen.

final readon for domination: our pitcher wasn't throwing more strikes, but they were swinging at more balls.

looking forward to next week's season finale.

- - - - - - -

three of us (actually, two of us) were threatened with ejections last night. after our game two win, we went to watch one of our favorite teams play against the cocky guys that trounced us last week. it was the bottom of the seventh, and the team we liked had a one-run lead. walk to a girl. out. single. single, bases loaded. girl strikeout. bases loaded, tying run at third, two out. line single to left. game over.

but the guy didn't run to first. it was merkle's boneresque, and we told the team we liked about it. drunkenly, of course, and they smiled with us. then smiled some more. then started to walk away. then thought, hey, we could change this. then the next game was about to start, and we started yelling to the ump about the play, and he threatened us. "you wanna leave for the night?!" or something. so we went to another field to finish our beer.

at this other field, we heckled the third base coach who was a ringer for us last week. we also talked to the guy who had the game-winning hit; turns out, the ump told him not to run, in the interest of time. (their game had run over the limit.)

- - - - -

did you see the michelle wie disqualification story? there's a nice justification ("integrity of the game") in today's sports illustrated, but it's still bullshit. michael bamberger should have his title of "journalist" revoked, because he didn't cover the story, he became the story.

- - - - - -

is the nba dress code really this controversial? as much as i hate it, i wear a tie to work four days a week. a collared shirt on fridays. that's not racist, that's not a violation of the first amendment, that's just business.

i'm also not allowed to wear my kermit washington mitchell & ness throwback.

we aren't even allowed to have fubu day at work, no matter how much we'd like to. or, i'd like to, anyway.

shut up, and dress well. (no, i don't know the ins and outs, but i know that big bulky jewelry should be outlawed, and i know that these guys can afford the duds.)

i think that covers everything.

- - - -

oh yeah, basanez is actually a johnny unitas golden arm finalist (one of seven senior quarterbacks) and tim mcgarigle is a butkus award finalist (one of the ten top linebackers). that's legitimate recognition, and it's neat. leinart will win, but baz will finish second. (if they announce that, which they don't.) mcgarigle's bird has flown. no more pub for him.

we opened the ballpark tonight for cards-astros game five. showed it on the scoreboard and in our bar. got a nice turnout, and a great game.

when a company offers free things like this in a town like this...well, they get some crazies. and so it was.

my favorite crazy...

i'd say 55-60 years old, she looked like arrested development's lucille austero [lucille 2]. incredibly like lucille. and she was way odd. [please look at the photo. it took me five minutes to find. thanks.]

carried a "purse," a round bag, baseball-shaped, with stitching and all, with "Cardinals" in script. she also had, perched in front of her, an albert pujols bobblehead. she sat at the bar, consuming copious amounts of bud light.

so, we're in the top of the ninth. eckstein's squirted through a two-out single, edmonds has drawn a walk, and suddently big al represents the go-ahead run.

he looks awful on a lidge slider.

so, lucille, and her miniature friend, stand up - "if you don't get a hit, i'm gonna smash your freakin' bobblehead! and i paid 32 bucks for this thing!"

apparently feeling threatened, pujols then sends a ball into orbit to left, a three-run homer to give the cards the lead against "lights out" lidge.

predictably, the place explodes.

unpredictably, lucille 2 stands up, dishes out some high fives, then freezes, pumps her hands to the sky (bobblehead in one hand), and yells "IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKING BOBBLEHEAD! ALL BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKING BOBBLEHEAD!! YEAH BABY!!!!"

Yes, it converted from 'freak' to 'fuck,' and yes, I was terrified but incredibly amused. (I should note that I was sitting, with one buffer seat, next to her for the final four innings.)

- - - - - -

i live in a 'downtown' apartment, about four blocks from where the crack dealers and prostitutes roam, and less than a block from several well-trafficked drinking establishments. today, i believe, is my three-year anniversary in the building. they did not throw me a party.

for 34 months, i never felt any repercussions for this somewhat harrowing choice of residence. never an instance of vandalism. never so much as a dent in the car. the worst thing to happen had been arriving home from work late on a weekend, and either electing to get somebody towed from my spot (that i pay for), or deciding to park on the street. (no meters on weekends.)

in the last two months, however, it's changed.

mid-august, i got a pretty severe - big enough to be annoying, small enough to live with it - dent over a saturday night. i'm sure a drunk guy accidentally flipped to
'drive' instead of 'reverse' while trying to pull out, or some such stupidity. annoying.

early monday morning, however, criminal damage. some guy got to eight different cars in my parking lot. eight.

he knocked off all of our sideview mirrors. just random vandalism. absolutely sucks. almost.

the good news is that the cops got him, and he was severely intoxicated. police call came at 2:15 (a disturbing the peace call from one of my wonderful neighbors), and the arrest happened at 3:05. he was booked overnight, and it sure sounds like i'll get restitution for the work that needs to be done.

(it's a 405-dollar job to replace the windows, which is oddly cheaper than i expected.)

i got two estimates before work, and a third on my lunch. one of my parking lot mates was there. while my car has a relatively-modest 42,000 miles on it, hers was one week old. one freakin' week.

but at least we'll all get our cars fixed. it sure is odd driving without sideview mirrors.

- - - - - -

despite my opponent scoring five touchdowns in the monday night game, i'm going to escape with a victory in fantasy. the destroyers improve to 2-4. the roosters drop to 2-4. and this is without tony gonzalez (or trent green) providing anything. i think chris perry is on the verge of stardom. and i've got straight-shootin' shayne graham doing the kicking. i'm stupidly optimistic.

- - - - - - -

in the interest of eliminating confusion, i'm going to change my posting times to just before midnight on the day to which the content refers. that is, despite the fact that today's post was written tuesday at 1 a.m., i'm setting it just before midnight monday. i think it's good logic.

- - - - - - -

i've got no groceries. lunch tuesday is lined up as two apples and some microwave popcorn. no milk. (no cereal. no tomato soup.) no eggs. (no eggs.) no other fruits. no microwavable rice. sigh.

well, my bathroom's clean. i believe that fact marks the culmination of a five-weekend long project. so that's a step. of course, the rest of the apartment has gone messy then clean then messy over that time, so i've not really accomplished much. and i need to vacuum again.

i'd really like to get the kitchen monday or tuesday or wednesday, but, you know, i probably won't.

- - - - - -

i think the minnesota vikings are as bad of an nfl team as i've seen. the bears didn't even play well, yet destroyed the mighty viks.

the chicago tribune has a bit called "from the cubicle," in which a low-level sports staffer writes play-by-play for games of 'importance.' every bears game gets the treatment. the sox playoff games have gotten the treatment. it's really quite a good bit.

a link to today's bears recap is here. the highlight comes, without question, at the start of the fourth quarter. The great Fred Smoot is called for pass interference, although he's referred to as "The Cruise Director." I laughed out loud when I read that.

- - - - -

the sox were just fantastic. i think they're the best team left, and, of course, were the best team in baseball this season. two-thirds of an inning (!!) from the bullpen over five games. incredible.

i wonder if this postseason is what joe crede needs to be a star. he's sure played fantastic. loved the game-winning RBI, a classic Midwest League-style "never stopped moving on an infield single" run scoring from second.

. . . . . .

for six million dollars, i bet the angels expected more of steve finley than for him to sit in the decisive game of the postseason. i've dtermined that, based on his hopeless 2005 season, finley is the best "i wouldn't have thought about him, but there's probably some merit there" steroid case that major league baseball had.

his major power surge - 30 home runs in 1996 after 47 in his first seven years combined - took place - not coincidentally - concurrently with teammate ken caminiti's power surge. (he had 40 HRs in 1996. he did have 26 in 1995, but only 77 in the first seven years of his career.)

and now, with testing in the picture, finley sucks. truly, it makes you wonder how many guys really were on the stuff. and, of course, how many still are. sigh. it is sad that everybody who played in the 1990's - save for griffey, ripken, and frank thomas [maybe more] - is under retroactive suspicion.

- - - - - - - -

people badmouth bobby cox for not performing in the postseason. sure you can win from april through september, but it's october that counts. bobby cox as the new "mr. may."

i'd like to submit that tony larussa is completely skating. for all the talent he's had - [8 of 10 winning seasons in st. louis; 6.5 of 9.5 - he was a midseason acquisition - with oakland; and 6 of 8 - again, some split stuff - with the white sox] he's only won one world series. if the man were truly such a genius, they wouldn't blow it so frequently down the stretch.

in the last 20 years, there's a strong argument that he's been the losing manager in the biggest world series upsets. (the dodgers in '88, the reds in '90.) boston probably wasn't beatable last year, but his 105-win team absolutely folded in the series. and it sure looks like his club is about to be a five-and-done in the nlcs this year - and he embarrassed himself by getting tossed tonight.

what a turn on that series-clinching double play. i thought we were headed for 15 more innings, but bruntlett-to-everett-to-berkman! woof!

clearly, usc is the best team in college football. i think that, maybe, notre dame's the second best.

texas could be better.
virginia tech could be better.

texas tech is clearly awful. they haven't played anybody.
alabama nearly lost to mississippi, georgia did the same at vandy, ucla struggled at washington state.

penn state lost. it looks like florida state's about to do the same.

so, in my opinion, notre dame's no worse than the fifth-best in the country.

but anyway, that game lived up to its billing as much as just about any game i've ever seen. it was simply fun to watch. lots of great players making a slew of really nice plays.

reggie bush is clearly the best player in the country - the irish held the passing game and lendale white mostly in check. charlie weis is clearly a genius. and a lot of recruits who were on the fence between the two schools (i don't follow that stuff, but i'm assuming that there are a lot) are probably still on the fence.

i figure notre dame runs the table and winds up in a bcs game. this time, unlike the last few times they were in major bowls, they'll have actually earned it.

- - - -

in other news, it's amazing to me that there was no doubt that northwestern was going to drive it down the boilermakers' throats on the decisive drive. it seems odd, considering that the cats hadn't scored at all in the second half. but that's just the confidence that baz inspires.

oddly, the running game was not much of a factor for northwestern. of basanez's 465 (!) passing yards and herbert's 94 receiving yards, i'd say 40 or so came on the double-option shovel pass, which is certainly a "run" element. but sutton only got 13 carries (the late-half one going for 40 yards) for 87 yards. still, he caught 10 passes as well.

my favorite development of the game was the play of hard-hittin' herschel henderson, who in three different instances provided helmet-shattering hits. he made, i think, the biggest play of the game, forcing the jerod void fumble that mcgarigle recovered at the nu ten. herschel played very well, as did kadela, i thought. the d-line still isn't particularly good.

roberson's fumble was frustrating, but i've got no qualms about him having the ball near the goal line. in my opinion, the emergence of noah herron in mid-to-late 2003 and jordan last season were big reasons for the late-season success. the offense is more versatile with a second (or, actually, third) running option, and roberson showed some shakes and some ability in his chances today.

two instances of why pam ward (and the entire broadcast crew) sucks:
- she didn't identify herschel henderson's fantastic strip
- she didn't even consider the possibility that andre chattams' attempted stretch into the end zone would be ruled a fumble and northwestern ball. that was just dumb.

- - - - -

new big ten power rankings, according to what actually happened today:

1) ohio state
2) penn state
3) michigan state
4) michigan
5) northwestern
6) wisonsin
7) minnesota
8) iowa
9) purdue
10) indiana
11) illinois

i'm not sure, but i think the only inconsistency according head-to-head matchups (like when florida state won the national championship despite losing to notre dame) is michigan state ahead of michigan. (oh yeah. and penn state over michigan. and ohio state over penn state.) i think sparty's better. and i know robinson does actually suck. and michigan needs to do a lot to move up.

i, however, also think northwestern will beat michigan state next saturday.

- - - - -

white sox thoughts: they're the best team left. they've made just about no mistakes this series.

chris myers is the only member of the broadcast crew that can say scott podsednik's last name. the 'd' is silent, doofuses.

- - - - -

not that this was interesting, but i don't think i have anything else interesting.

24 hours late, my reaction to the white sox game:

the worst part about this whole thing is that major league baseball trotted out the umpires post-game. david stern, the best commissioner in the history of professional sports, won't even let his referees ever talk to the media. when those women officials came into the league, they couldn't speak even for the purpose of stupid "overcoming odds" human interest stories.

and here, a half-hour after a clearly blown call, bud selig and his deputies force these guys to go talk to an angry and critical media throng. and how did they look? defensive. sort of like people defending their completely-public mega-error a half-hour after it happened. that's just dumb.

the next-worst part is that doug eddings, of course, used the punch-out motion. where i'm from, that means that the batter is out. but credit pierzynski for (hesitating then) running to first base, and blame josh paul for being a complete idiot. like tony grafanino, he's still on the white sox payroll.

the least-worst part, in actuality, is the misjudgment on the catch. that'll happen. but the other problems screwed it up.

and give some credit to ozuna and joe crede ("I'll take Joe Crede over anybody right now... A-Rod, Rolen, anybody") for making the mistakes memorable.

- - - - -

i missed the game because we needed to get swept in softball. two blowouts, two slaughters, i believe. moved back into the top spot, i found myself with a 4-for-5 day. i misplayed a few balls in the outfield early in the process, and dropped a deep flyball (but recovered to start a bad-baserunning double play), but i also handled a few shallow popups and called off our centerfielder on a near crosby-sheffield collision a few steps in front of the warning track, and retore up my right shin on a sliding grab down the line. i was wearing pants for the first time (classic harry caray, although only my dad knows it...check here) and some gauze and things like that, but still ripped it up pretty fierce-like.

we played this completely ridiculous team in the second game. ultra-competitive. apparently, their outfielders cheated (playing too shallow). on two separate occasions, they attempted to take ridiculous extra bases while holding large leads. one of them came on a wild throw to first, a ball deflecting off of our first baseman's glove...despite the ball trickling no more than five feet away, the guy sprinted to second. the other, worse one, came earlier. double into right-center. safe on a fairly close play. on the throw to the pitcher, the batter darts for third. we make the play, but the ump rules that "time was called." sigh.

we had the same to ringers as we had on monday. we played 7 and 9. they played 6 and 8. they only played the first game, because we recruited other ringers - ringers we knew - for the second game. but one of the ringers stuck around.

when finishing our respective pitchers post-game two, i asked why she'd want to stick around. "because i hate that team, and wanted to see them lose." i had to apologize.

apparently, our game two opponent isn't the only thing developing a reputation.

"word's getting around that your pitcher's pretty bad." sigh.

- - - - - -

robert pollard's from a compound eye has a release date, and a label. merge records. january 24th. should be exciting. file sharers say it rules, and pitchfork gave the leadoff track a strong review when it first leaked last january. (it's here.)

i recently re-downloaded soulseek to recoup the cd's stolen in a 1206 west henderson break-in of halloween 2003. (i was dressed as joe borowski when it happened.) i had already acquired, through my fantastic sister, gurs, and em-dub, several of the cd's. i've since downloaded the following:
beulah - yoko
gram parsons - gp
gram parsons - grievous angel
the wrens - the meadowlands

i haven't obtained:
the joggers - solid guild
r.e.m. - eponymous

i've also entered the realm of using it to get music not-otherwise-attainable, a list that includes, at this point:
editors - the back room

it's import-only, and allmusicguide featured them, and i've only been through once.

i think i'll avoid the pollard release until it's official, however. more fun that way.

- - - - -

as a whole, this post wasn't boring. however, the last half certainly sucked.

it was about 4 p.m. today, and i was talking to the greatest sox fan i know.

"this is great. colon's gone. byrd sucks, and he's going on three days' rest. we've got the series in the bag."

"whoa, whoa, pal. you were probably laughing as it happened, but let's think about 2003. up 3-1. zambrano loses...'who cares, we've got prior and wood coming back.' and, of course, we know what happened there. don't get overconfident, because it's not easy."

"we're just better, and we've got so much going for us."

turns out, of course, that the sox played like dung. here's to better things tomorrow.

- - - -

you'll recall that, a few weeks ago, i found myself in minneapolis, work-subsidized. the reimbursal process was quick and painless; i compiled my receipts, handed them in, and was issued a check by the following tuesday. i immediately deposited said check, let's say, about two weeks ago.

today, i receive notice from my bank:

Dear Customer:
We are delaying the availability of the funds from the check(s) described below because we believe the check(s) may not be paid. The reason for the hold and the date on which the funds will be available for withdrawal are also described below."

Hold Reason: Insufficient funds at inquiry time

Probably not important, but also not reassuring.

- - - - -

wow, uncle tupelo is the second greatest band ever. sigh.

if you don't enjoy softball posts, i'm sorry. too much good to report. makeup softball monday night, a haphazard assembly of our team regular guys plus 'any girl we could find.'

first, the bad: we split.

next, the good: i was, by far, the best player out there.

["in fact, i'm probably the most modest person i know." - ray lewis, on hbo's hard knocks]

despite an unreasonable and ultimately stupid demotion from the number one spot in the lineup to the nine hole, i went a strong 6-for-7 at the plate wednesday. [it should be noted that our new leadoff guy struck out twice.]

game one: 4-for-4, with the at-bats going single, triple, double, infield single.

game two: 2-for-3, with the at-bats going, i believe, single, groundout, hustling double to right-center.

i didn't track runs scored or rbi - it was simply too difficult - but i know that i did my part.

you'll recall from last week's miserable entry that we were terrible five days ago. i was particularly terrible, misplaying balls all over the place in left field. however, i was gold glove-caliber tonight. i believe i caught all five balls hit my way. [it may have been four, but it was damn impressive.]

this included, in game one, a galloping grab on a ball short of me. i had taken a poor route, starting back and right, but hustled in and made the game-ending basket catch on a quickly-paced trot. final score: us 21, them 16

the other fantastic play came in the midst of a three-pitch inning (seriously. ...more amazingly, we had gone down on three pitches in the bottom half of the frame, prior to their hacks). two down, flare to left. this guy comes sprinting in, gets to his knees, and makes a keith moreland-like sliding grab. so good, in fact, that i got a high five from the guy i robbed. if it sounds like i'm gloating, it's only because i was absolutely fantastic.

also worth noting: the "hustling double" i referred to was actually a sliding double, on which i pushed the envelope and came up with a solid gash on my right leg to show for it. to be honest, i'm quite proud that i was still able to properly slide, as i formed a fine figure four and popped up immediately. i also showered to clean it out upon my return home.

i think that i'm a fun opponent. when coaching third, i make odd conversation with the third baseman. when on at first, i explain to their first baseman that i've already plowed over another first baseman before. when i'm in the outfield, i yell non-sensical things like "lots of strikes, diggity-dawg" and "hey now! whaddya say now! let's go kids!" and "oneindawell, oneindawell," ["one in the well, one in the well"]. actually, i'm probably annoying, but at least it's in good fun.

in left field tonight, however, i found myself (rather than annoying other), being annoyed. saying under my breath, "let's see a damn strike" as we watched six straight balls and four runs scoring. that was game one, and we escaped. [as a team, we had our most complete performance of the season in game one. other than the walks, the defense, aided by two girl-ringers, was watertight.]

the second game, we got the strikes we needed, and our shortstop botched it. three straight grounders muffed in about the fifth, opening the door for a big [and i'd imagine, decisive] inning. i got to give the rocket [our shortstop] a hard time after his miserable performance and, well, he was a bit upset with me. but it happens, i guess. certainly a winner of a night.

- - - - -

highlight: it's 5:58, and we start at 6. we have five guys and three girls there. we need four and four to play, or five girls to use a full roster. across the complex (20 feet away), there's a team with no apparent opponent. "Hey, PR guy," my teammates yell, "We need some ringers. Go see if they want to play." So I make my pitch: "Hey. We're short a few girls. If anybody wants to play - I see your opponent hasn't shown - we'd like to have you." "Yeah, I can play" X 2. "I'll come back if our fourth doesn't show up."

I walk to our diamond, and we're implored to take the field. I head back to their diamond, and bring in my recruits. [One was great - a tremendous second baseman. The other was mediocre, striking out once.] "That's the first time we've seen you pick up a girl," the rocket accurately intones. I smile, shamed.

- - - -

other highlight: between games, one of our girls has been recruited as a ringer, so we hang out by her diamond to be a personal cheering section. [ridiculous, really, cheering when she made the throw from the plate to the rubber in warmups, and things like that.] at about 745, 15 minutes to our next game, i head to the restroom. i wander by another team, the team whose first baseman i had trampled two weeks ago. "BOOOOOOOOOOO," and loudly. I smile shyly, wave, and head to the restroom. I head towards my table, and i'm getting the evil eye from a team member. I engage in friendly conversation. Then I see Renee, who I had so callously run over. I smile, embarrassed. She takes the lead: "I'm back this week. And, guess what? I'm back at first base!" And we exchange a hug, and her husband laughs, and all is forgiven.

I can't wait til the playoffs. I'll run the bitch over again. [Zing!]

- - - - -

Odd fact of the day: Tim McGarigle, leader of a defense that surrendered 48 points, was named Big Ten Co-Defensive Player of the Week. I don't care how many tackles he had (25, including 3.5 for loss), he can't get that award.

Also, the NU release states: "His 25 stops fell one shy of the official NCAA record (the NCAA began keeping official defensive statistics in 2000), which is ironically co-held by a former NU teammate, Doug Szymul (26 vs. Duke in 2002)."

First of all, it's coincidental, not ironic. Second of all, it's not coincidental at all, because Northwestern always pads it's tackling stats. (See Also: Bentley, Kevin, and Gardner, Barry.)

what a nice win for the cats. cats 51, [overrated] #14 badgers 48. because of the cats' inability to actually close it out, i'd say that it wasn't even that close. but, of course, it was.

brett basanez ran the offense better than zak kustok ever did. the decisions made by baz - the fake-shovel that led to the sutton touchdown catch comes to mind - and the quality of throws he made - see the philmore sideline catch that led to the late-first half field goal, and the on-the-spot in-and-out ball thrown to herbert - were better than what zak produced at his peak. based on his erratic (awful?) 2003 season in which the coaching staff called exclusively runs in the second half against illinois, baz has *never* inspired confidence, even in his all-big ten caliber season last year. but i've been excited about his intelligence and composure all season long; the only pick he's thrown is the desperation heave against penn state.

this much is clear: basanez is definitely an all-conference performer this season, and is probably better than stanton. stanton's the only comparison, i believe.

(look at the numbers this year: 118-for-170, 1,386 yards, 7 TDs, one pick)

sutton, meanwhile, is otherworldly. he did show the breakaway speed on the decisive 62-yard-score and, outside of the crucial fumble (crucial, no doubt), he did not make a mistake. (i liked walker's post-game comments in his espn interview, not earth-shattering but very well-said: "he's not a mature player yet. at that stage, it's not about yards. but he was fighting for yards.)

(next thought: is sutton better than anderson was? probably not yet, although he can catch the ball. certainly, the media relations folks will have to dust off the odd anderson records they generated in 2000. for "most rushing yards in three consecutive games," ad nauseum.)

my favorite play of the game was sutton's touchdown catch, getting the lead to 44-34 with nine minutes left. cats ball inside the ten. first down. baz drops straight back (no play-fake.) and throws low to sutton, who dropped it at the goal line. here i'm thinking, gotta go off-tackle here. or at least play-fake. but mike dunbar is thinking something else. second-and-goal. straight drop (no!). but there's sutton, on a quick flare to the flat, and he's in to the end zone untouched.

it was the perfect call and, i believe, the first time they've shown that route this season. gutsy to go against what you'd been doing all game (they hadn't been stopped since mid-second quarter, or maybe since the first), and i'd've been very angry if we'd seen an incompletion (rending a third-down play fake moot). but the call worked perfectly, and gave northwestern hugely important breathing room.

the biggest play of the game was wisconson's holding penalty on the ensuing possession, negating a completion down the northwestern 20. the cats got the stop, and alvarez punted on fourth-and-11 (i would have gone for it, but i'm dumb.) this, of course, led to the apparent game-clinching sutton run.

worth noting: pederson twice pinning the badgers inside the five. i'd argue that the second punt, with 1:24 left, took any screen passes out of the equation for the badgers. a huge weapon all game, the badgers couldn't use it, and that's part of the reason that mcpherson came up with the pick. straight drop = not that tough to stop, even if you're the cats.

- - - - - - -

of course, the frustratiion here is that, had northwestern held off penn state, they'd likely be in the top 25 come monday. they won't be. but, as we all know, the best way to enjoy northwestern football is in four-hour bursts, with no concern for anything else.

at this juncture in the season, the three wins number will inevitably come up. but it's foolhardy to bring it up now, first because goals could be bigger than that, and secondly because nobody knows which teams are good, especially at this point.

of course, walker's good at "what's the biggest play of the game? the next one" thinking, so maybe they'll try to go 1-0 next week.

regarding the big ten...
all we know: indiana and illinois suck rocks.
what else we know: at ohio state is probably the only unwinnable game on the nu schedule. i think ohio state's the best team, by far, in the conference. (pending tonight's penn state game.)

what i think i know:
purdue's not any good.
michigan state beat notre dame because of four fluky plays (interception for touchdown to start the second half, trannon's 64-yard catch-and-run, and the two failed fourth-and-one's with a freshman carrying the ball), lost to michigan at home, and might not also be that good.
michigan confuses the hell out of me. they've just lost to minnesota.
minnesota also confuses the hell of me.
i still don't believe penn state's any good. not looking at their schedule, i think they could close the season with six straight losses.
iowa was vastly overrated. i don't believe in them.
i've got no idea on wisconsin, who beat michigan at the right time, and not convincingly
i think that's all i've got on the conference.

big ten "power rankings" (quality of team, not of record, and also not projecting conference standings):
1. ohio state
2. minnesota (L to Penn State, W v. Michigan)
3. michigan state
4. michigan
5. penn state
6. northwestern
7. wisconsin
8. iowa
9. purdue
10. indiana
11. illnois

i think ohio state will go undefeated.

i'll now revise my preseason picks, through purple-colored glases, while basking in the glory of an upset win.
at purdue: win
at michigan state: loss
vs. michigan: loss
vs. iowa: win
at ohio state: loss
at illinois: win
motor city bowl, against miami (oh) [i've not been following the MAC]: win

Projected finish: 7-5, 4-4

- - - - - -

while talking to him at the start of the second half (from 10-17 to 23-20, i believe), harps brought up the "what'll we do without baz and mcgarigle?" question. ahh, the sad state of being a college sports fan.

i've hated chris berman for a while. but i particularly hated his call of the sox-sox series.

"and the boston red sox dream of a repeat is over, and the chicago white sox have swept the divisional series." it would seem to me that this is a case of burying the lead.

quite clearly, the white sox are the best team left in the AL. they're probably the best team left, period. but we're a long way away...

do i have a good feeling about the cats tomorrow? i'm not sure, but i'm excited to completely and totally immerse myself in their performance.

good news regarding wednesday's softball: i went 4-for-5, all singles, scored a run.

that's all for good news.

wednesday was a beautiful day...however, the night got cold and ugly. from the start of our 8 p.m. game (to be immediately followed by a 9 p.m. game), things were off-kilter.

actually, they started okay. we allowed three runs in the top of the first, but scored five times in the bottom half. and that was it for good news. we lost 19-8. the rain fell. we had a brief rain delay. (it did give our late-arriving team time to purchase a pitcher, finally.) i think they scored nine in the top of the second, leading to a 1-2-3 inning.

we were about all partially at fault. a dropped ball at first. a dropped ball on a force at second. a ball that our left side of the infield pulled an "i got it, i got it, you got it, ohhh..." on. a ball that fell between left-center and right-center. and at least three misplayed balls in left by yours truly. one, a single that got past me. secondly, a single that i overran and played into two. and three, a liner to me that i charged in on, then turned and watched it sail to the wall for a three-run job. ugh.

i'd like to devote a paragraph to our struggling pitcher, who was truly terrible, unfortunately. with a three-week break (we were rained out last week, and he was out of town the week before), the big fella was off his game. in a league where a walk sends a dude to second and the girl behind him to first...the big fella walked four straight girls during the nine-run second inning. it was simply awful.

game one was awful to the point where we were actually mildly grumbling to each other.

the only good part? tadahito had blasted his three-run shot on the way over. i heard big ed farmer's call, and heard bud joining him on the call. the rocket had the headphones tuned to the radio and was keeping us posted (although i'm sure it negatively impacted his play.)

oh yeah. also, our manager was not there, apparently in a wife-related squabble. so that was sort of good too.

when it couldn't get worse, game two was worse. we allowed 12 - count them - 12 runs in the top of the first inning. leadoff man walked (putting runners at first and second.) big lefty in the number three spot hit a towering popup to shallow left. our hustling leftfielder sprinted in, as it was just beyond the reach of third. our hustling leftfielder went to the knees to make the sliding-in-the-wet-grass catch. our hustling leftfielder go tthe glove under it, felt it pop in the glove, then watched it bounce out. loaded bases. then, back-to-back two-pitch walks. down 4-0. then more trouble. then more trouble. at least three more walks in the inning, and the big fella finally turns to call the shortstop in. so shortstop starts to make the call to the bullpen. but he doesn't want the call to the bullpen, only wants to say "we're not fucking swinging when we get up there." sigh. 12 runs. sigh.

after the third out, rain delay.

after the rain delay, this guy singles to left to open the inning. then a popup from our number two hitter. then a popup - dropped - by our three-guy, putting me at third and the rocket at second. then an "i saw lightning!" excuse. then a cancellation.

so we're sitting there, finishing pitcher number two. and the owner comes up. "bad news. normally, we start over. but if any team is ever ahead by seven runs, we pick up from there." assballs.

- - - -

surprisingly good fortune today found me ignoring a phone call at 9:52 a.m., then getting a second phone call at 9:52 a.m., and begrudgingly picking it up. "come here. [the rocket's office] now." "what?" "come. now."

so the rocket's fallen into cardinals tickets. we had given them to a sponsor, and the sponsor couldn't use them. so we leave the office. by 1005. woof!

it was a great time. the game was better than the score indicates. the cards turned double plays in the 4th 5th 6th 7th innings. the padres left the bags jammed in the second and eighth (randy flores k's mark sweeney. awesome!)

on the way back, the rocket gets a call. he had missed a different softball league tonight. "we did better in game two!" a pair of slaughter-losses, one in the third and one in the fourth. so at least we were better than that.

- - -

hey, i sure like this white sox team. and i sure think that the opening cut on the new franz ferdinand record rules. haven't heard beyond there.

Pale hose, YES!

It's early, and it'll be a different kind of emotional investment than it was in 2003, but I'm sure hoping the White Sox go far. Great start today.

- - - -

For the discriminating children's public television watcher, a preview of Wednesday's late-morning QCA programming, courtesy of my local digital cable.

11:00 a.m. - Boohbah - Repeat, "Two Hats"
Synopsis: The Boohbahs twirl and hop, and do a dizzying in-and-out dance. In Storyworld, Grandmamma can fit through the doorway wearing a hat, but Grandpappa can't. (Educational)

11:30 a.m. - Teletubbies - Repeat, "Fetching Water"
Synopsis: Dipsy counts to two; Po gets wet and dry; Laa-Laa and the Noo-Noo make an "X." (Educational)

This struck me as really funny.

i've got an old, creepy coworker. i mean, old. wrinkly. down to a pack a day from a three packs a day habit that he brought to us last year.

for 20-something years, he sold paper products. paper towels. tissue paper. toilet paper. latex gloves, or something.

and, great thing is, he's got toilet paper salesman jokes. or at least one.

we were discussing toilet paper today (hey - it's the offseason), and i commented that the toilet paper at the ballpark sucks.

"yeah. it's john wayne toilet paper." "huh?" "it's rough and tough and it won't take shit off of anybody."

woof.

- - - - -

i've noticed an overabundance of 'woof's here. yesterday, i counted nine over my last eight posts. that's far too many, but i do like the word 'woof.'

- - - - -

the bulls traded eddy curry tonight, and it's a sad situation. they're getting tim thomas, michael sweetney, and somebody named jermaine jackson. they're also getting a first-round pick and two second-round picks. antonio davis was also included in the deal, although word is that he'll be released and will re-sign with the bulls. (ever noticed the difference between the words 're-sign' and 'resign'? jack mckeon did the latter today.)

it's sad because the bulls had the player's best interest in minds - take the test, and we'll keep you here for life. further, if he'd taken the dna test and it came to reveal that he couldn't continue, the bulls would pay him $400,000 per year for the next 50 years. but he still refused to take the test.

at this point, the only recourse was to deal him and, considering the circumstances (nobody but isiah thomas would take him), i guess paxson did okay. but the fact is, no matter how well he did, he'd rather just have eddy.

eddy was the rock. i was angry about losing davis, who was the boulder. the 'little things' - the maturity, the professionalism, the willingness to teach - brought by antonio added far more than the four-and-four numbers.

the deal is disconcerting, though.

i'd imagine that hinrich and gordon will start this year, along with deng, chandler and davis/thomas/songaila/sweetney/harrington. point is, it's an uninspiring frontcourt without eddy, and jordan's bulls are the only ever nba championship team without a dominant, scoring big man. eddy was that. he's also the only good young one there is.

paxson's a true pro. one of the best, i think. his simple philosophy - players from winning college programs bring that winning attitude to the pros - certainly has worked wonders. deng? gangly, no experience. nope, future star. duhon? will be lucky to make the roster. nope, natural, intelligent team leader. gordon? too small to be a shooting guard. nope, the greatest scoring guard to enter the league since ... well, wade. but maybe bryant before then.

i'm still optimistic for the team, but i think we'll see a lot of harrington-and-four-shooters lineups during the season. which could be fun.

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after a one-week suckfest, arrested development was fantastic today. i don't know what happened, but you never remember, of course.

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update on last night's nfl game: hochuli did give a long-winded replay explanation, which was outstanding. it talked about re-establishing position in bounds to recover a fumble. perfect. thanks to jimmy kimmel for showing it.

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guaranteed-to-be-wrong playoff picks:
angels over yankees, 3 games to 1. leaving aaron small out of the rotation??
white sox over bosox, 3 games to 2. i'm casting my lot with contreras.
cardinals over padres, 3 games to 1. peavy then nothing.
atlanta over houston, 3 games to 1. picking more with my heart here. i've picked hudson over pettitte then smoltz over clemens. i don't like clemens. after oswalt wins game three, i've the bravos in number four. oh, i hope so.

beyond there:
white sox over angels
cardinals over atlanta
white sox over cardinals

that'd be fun, wouldn't it? i'd like ozzie to outmanage larussa on a national stage.

note: i haven't analyzed anything beyond the starting pitching matchups. not even al reyes' injury, or brandon mccarthy's inexplicable spot not on the roster.

nemo said we've set back mexican-american relations 50 years by putting chicken wire and fencing around the playing field during the niners-cardinals game. i say we've done worse by making them watch the niners and the cardinals.

highlight of the game (i write this at the 11 minute point of the second quarter, but i'm highly confident it won't be equaled) came midway through the first period. the great ed hochuli (we sent them our best referee) announced "holding," but did it in spanish. implicated "numero setenta-cinco," and announced that it was "segundo" down. outstanding. the only thing better would have been mike carey explaining an instant replay overturn in spanish.

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what i've been doing lately: watching lots and lots of freaks and geeks, the late 90's tv show that 17 fans loved, critics loved, and nobody watched. it's really interesting and intelligent tv. the kids (but for one) are normal-sized; the freshmen even look like high school freshmen.

there's a lot of heart to it. i think it was marketed as a comedy, and it's certainly hilarious at times, but it's also a pretty accurate reflection of the things that kids go through. and they use lots and lots of styx.

i think 13 episodes aired, but all 18 that were produced are on the dvd set. i'd highly recommend finding a coworker to steal it from. that's what i've done. sadly, i've now watched all 18 (i think over the last two weeks), and late last night saw me actually watching one of my favorite episodes with the commentary track. i'd've been better off asleep.

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turns out, notre dame's really really good this year. i'm not saying they'll beat usc, but i'm saying they'll score 42 points on them. i'll rely on the cats to hold me over until then. woof.

on friday, greg the former intern and i went over the resumes we collected this week, filtering out the people we didn't like and moving up in the file the people we liked.

the 'people we liked' file was telling:

of about 300 people there, we received about 200 resumes. probably 75 percent of those people were male. the 'people that made an impact one way or another' list: nine girls, 15 guys. sigh.

two funny ones that didn't make the cut (although didn't get trashed):

one girl, who happened to attach a photo. c'mon.

the photo was her and a friend and her sister at a ballgame. crowd in the background. a note of some sort was developed directly on the photo. an arrow the left. "my twin." an arrow to the right. "me!" the statement in the middle: "I'm a Minnesota Twin!"

Her "relevant experience" section just exuded an aura of "i drink until i fall over," according to coworker greg. "bartender." "cocktail waitress." "barista." "receptionist." woof. maybe we shouldn't judge.

the other one, we should judge.

he was a sharp kid, on top of his things. he wanted to be a media relations dork. (media relations people are dorks.) i recognized his last name, although he wasn't related to any of the people i know.

the guy had an impressive portfolio. it came in a blue cardboard folder. there was a generic cover letter in the left pocket. there was a two-page (idiot) resume in the left side. there was an unnecessary business card, with the phrase "proof that with hard work and passion, you can accomplish anything" (!), or some such gobbledygook, written. nice, albeit unnecessary, package.

a candidate for the "worth calling" file, on tuesday anyway. on friday, not so much.

resume starts with bland objective statement, followed by education/relevant coursework, or whatever.

then "activities."

1997-Present: XXX Catholic Church softball team
2002-Present: Organized and served as Commissioner for Fantasy Baseball League for myself and 11 family members and friends
2000-Present: Organized "March Madness" NCAA Tournament pool for myself and 10-15 neighborhood friends and family members.

He then moved into the crap file.