Two nights ago, I decided that this would be my last summer doing the whole "baseball radio thing." It was a hasty decision, and one that won't stand for too long, but it was one that sounds a bit appealing.

Circumstances resulting in this hasty "decision:" I was on the balcony, and I was reading, and my iPod was on, and the R/DS couldn't annoy me, and it was awesome. Just awesome. Peaceful. Wonderful. Couldn't have been much better.

In a way, it's a bit depressing to consider a decision like that. One could say that I've been "living a dream" - that's how I termed it five years ago in a mass "hey friends, here's where I'm going" email - and I have, and it's been really cool. (In two weeks, when we start games, it'll probably return to being really cool.)

But, at the same time, I do miss out on a lot. Summer nights. Normal hours. Barbeques. Sandals. Vacations, or, at least, rest. My favorite memories of baseball seasons are not at all baseball-related. Graduation week, when I skipped out on a series in 2002. The Nemo wedding. Sitting shirtless on Gurs' roof at 1206. Going to Kansas City with The Boy in 2003 (baseball-related, but not related at all to my baseball).

And, obviously, there are always great times and great moments - how many people go to work at a ballpark? [answer: more than you realize] - but sometimes you question whether the positives outweigh the negatives. And the answer to that conundrum changes by the day, unfortunately.

Got into this line of conversation tonight with Gurs. "In a way, I'm no closer to anything now than I was one or two or five years ago," and "I've probably taken a professional step back, in fact," were among the things I said. I also said, "Well I'm closer to death than I was two years ago."

"Actually," he corrected, "you're probably farther from death, when you think about it."

He's probably right about that.

Point of this portion of the post? Navel-gazing, I guess, but that's sort of the point of an exercise like blogging, right?

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The biggest problem - at this precise moment - is that I am completely trapped during my current "home" life. In every way, the R/DS is a terrible person to be around. Boring. Not particularly friendly. Incredibly negative. He's a terrible conversationalist. Oddly, we share about zero actual common interests. He's terrible to watch Jeopardy! with, because he answers every question aloud, whether or not he knows the answer, and always says "What is?" [or "Who is?," etc.]. He has awful taste in music and movies. (I'll distill something into a WIDiRVoFOW later this week.)

I was just doing dishes or something tonight, and he started lecturing me on the greatness of Foreigner, and started comparing some song by Foreigner to some song by Bad Company, and then he made a remark about "The Final Countdown," with a statement like "You can't beat English-as-a-second-language rock about intergalactic travel," all while I was responding to none of this. At this point, I retired to my room to kill a few hours. Remarkably, none of this is made up.

It's just tough to be suffocated, but I'm suffocated when we're in the same room. He sucks up all the hot air.

Sometimes, I fear I make him sound like a worse person than he actually is, but I don't think this is the case. He's really that bad. Damn!

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Again, I'll emphasize that the rest of the coworkers are generally good. We're getting an intern crop in right now, and they're not as good, for the most part.

I really respect and like the work our co-owners do. They go hard, and they take it seriously, but they let it be known that they appreciate our work.

Tuesday, co-owner wife called a grave-sounding meeting. There was a negative tone in her voice, and we had to make sure that every staff member was present. That doesn't happen - staff meetings are usually missing about half of the staff, or a bit less. But she calls the meeting, looks us over, and then co-owner husband walks in, carrying a box of stuff: windbreakers, personalized, for everyone on the staff (including this been-there-for-three-weeks intern-guy). "I'm just so thankful that I have the best staff in the world," he said, flipping us each a jacket. "Thanks for all your work, and I'm really looking forward to the season."

It was real nice of him. More positive feedback than I got in four years in the previous place, and I don't think that's an exaggeration.

Also, co-owner husband and co-owner wife have both made it a point in the last five days to thank me for my effort and let it be known that they appreciate my work and to tell me that I'm doing a good job. It doesn't mean a lot, but it does. And I've looked them in the eye and thanked them for the chance to work for them.

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I received Grandaddy's swan song, Just Like the Fambly Cat, from Amazon today. I think I'm going to like it a lot. Anticipation of this record led me to crack out my copy of The Sophtware Slump this morning, as well. I think Sophtware might just be among my top 20 all-time. (It was number 45 when I did it four years ago.)

"Jeez Louise" is the first single from Fambly Cat, and it's pretty rocking good. There's a great song called "Rear View Mirror," and I really like "The Animal World." Also, there's an instrumental called "Skateboarding Saves Me Twice." While I can't relate, as my only skateboarding experience involves bad chin scrapes while participating in one-knee cul-de-sack races, I sure like the title.

I think they'll be missed. Better than they were credited for being.

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The Gimme Indie Rock Tournament is going pretty well. "I Am a Scientist" pulled through with the win over Beck's "Loser," and I thank the person who may or may not be posing as "Lil Rud" for voting.

Now, a very interesting matchup pits Neutral Milk Hotel's "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" against Radiohead's "Paranoid Android." Both worthy songs, to be sure, but ITAOTS is transcendent - "Android" is merely fantastic. I'd encourage all to put Neutral Milk Hotel through to the next round. Your conscience thanks you.

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I've got to stop writing long, rambling, boring posts. Don't you think?